The cause for universal brotherhood or sisterhood or whatever

This world or life is designed in a funny manner...

People at the penultimate stage to the universal love are devoted preferentially,like say to a particular person or country or ideology or religion or a profession or art etc. The nobility of this stage is in the sacrifice that a person is willing to go through for the object of affection. But the tragedy of this stage is that the object of affection is the drainage of the person's life.

 I will give 2 simple examples.

Take the 1st example of a normal guy who has a star as his friend, kind of like having a matinee idol or the top-sportsman as a friend. The normal guy feels good and happy around him and let's also assume that both of them are basically of good nature. When they both go out to a coffee cafe, people's attention is going to be on the star and not on the guy. This is how a guy gets drained by a star friend. If he had had another guy who was just as ordinary as he was, he would have had a better time at the coffee cafe.

Take for the 2nd example a guy who falls in love with a girl. And he proclaims that he will do anything for her, including sacrificing his life for her if the need comes. The guy initially says this without much thought because he thinks this is a noble thing to say to get her affection. But inevitably the girl, being by nature more fragile than a boy, at some point expects this not merely in words but as a real demonstration. This is how a guy gets drained by a girl. If the guy had simply gone to play with his boy friends, he would not have had to foot the bill at the coffee cafe to appear like a gentleman before a lady.

When one is in the penultimate stage of life, one finds that the person or thing or whatever that one liked was the cause of pain, a pain that had an element of pleasure, that one underwent voluntarily. But what about the person or thing or whatever that one disliked at this stage? It is still a potential source of pleasure that is untapped and the way to harness this pleasure is by being non-judgmental in regarding one as a friend and another as a foe. Then one touches the base or root or bottom of everything and one reaches the final stage. One can then look upon everyone as a friend. At this stage, there is no drainage of one's life because what one object of affection cannot give is given by another continually. There is the feeling of being supported by the buoyancy of the ocean.

I never really thought it was her when I saw her though the face registered in the back of my mind. Maybe I knew and I didn't want to make any false assumptions...as Travolta says in the Broken Arrow, Assumption is the mother of all f.ck ups. But as I sat down to have the snack, I noticed a Muslim going to the loo. The chat was really tasty and as I sat down, as if like rain-clouds, some 3 got around me. My only thought was enjoy the snack and get the hell out of the place. Her chudidhar really went well with her figure and I always liked girls in pony tail. For a moment I wondered if I should go near her and talk but then I thoght...what the hell...I'm too old to go through these games and I also believe that any encounter between a girl and a boy must have an element of magic in it and not be something that one tries to artificially create. So I thought...if I really will be marrying some girl, she will fall into my lap from the sky. A problem for me is that I don't even know if I will be attractive enough to any girl because I cannot go through those teenage romantics.

Anyway I'm happy at the present moment for whatever it is worth to myself and others.

Okay...maybe you want some tip from me on better living...I will screw up my brain to bring you one...I don't want to tell you something that's already there because you will anyway get to it someday without me. So I will share something from what I got experientially...let's see...okay i have got it and it is...'suppose you are an almost wise person and you come across a wonderful tip (like this), then don't be hasty and give it out to another as soon as you receive it to show that you are wise. But instead, hold it within you, even for a moment and digest or reflect or understand what it says. Then, you may tell it outside. If you don't do this, the tip you got will have passed through you without becoming a part of you.'

Okay...going to sleep.

And to you...no, not you...you...hey not you also...yes, you...don't get paranoid over me. I want to be only friends with you and if you think otherwise, I have got to kick your a.se before you accept my friendship. Experience speaks.

Anjali