When I heard that Archana was being forced against her will to marry someone else and that she wasn't sure of my love for her, I wrote "I need you, Archana" in my blood. My friend, Rakesh Ranjan, had suggested to me not to cut myself since he can bring blood from a chicken shop. When I wrote it, I somewhat felt that I was going to the extent of begging her. She proved it, when, as I called long-distance phone calls from Pune to Chennai with the little money that I had, by keeping down the receiver just like her parents did to my calls. I was thinking that she was on my side while she knew her priority.
Today, I can reasonably claim that I'm out of depression. Somewhere along these 14 years, I experienced unconditional love. For all the attention that the Pravda forum gave me, I reported that some undesirable elements were there to the police. I think I did it after some bomb blast. I haven't visited the forum for around 2 years and I don't intend to. They have got a Facebook page and I will be in touch through that. And ofcourse, there are some friends from Pravda already in my Facebook friend list. I don't know if my reporting the website could have got the forum black-listed or black-marked.
Today I achieved whatever I set out to do in the morning. Yes, I'm not yet earning but that will change soon. I might not be earning a lot but it will be enough to live decently. I don't have any physcal, mental, emotional or spiritual malady. Ofcourse, there are a lot of adjustments to be done but I'm okay enough now. I don't want to regret anything. I'm looking forward to the times ahead.
