When I entered the new school, Hindu Senior Secondary School, at Indra Nagar, in 1993, I wanted to dump my sorry past at the old one (HSSS at Triplicane). In the new one, no one knew me except for Lakshmi. Ofcourse, she was the last person I would have wanted to be in the new school but then after getting refused twice, I just couldn't love her any more.
The Vice-Principal was like any other teacher when I first saw him. He was teaching Physics along with being the VP. He looked smart and I don't know whether this was because of dealing with Nuclear Physics in our syllabus, he was edgy. I had carried a few habits and skills from the old school, one of which was to impress my girl with whatever skill I had in the class. While in the old school, it was reading out poems, in the new one, I wanted to answer the questions that my teachers put forward. So there I was in the physics class before the VP, my classmates and ofcourse Archana. The VP asked questions and I answered. The others didn't answer and I thought they were not as studious as I was. But then the VP asked questions to the class and he himself answered to the class. Later, a friend pulled me aside and asked me, "Are you nuts? Why are you answering him? He never even listens to what you say." And he can get annoyed. Then, I saw that some of the guys were fearing the VP and finding him a nutty professor.
Then, the VP asked in the class if anyone could help him out in writing some notes for him that the which can be xeroxed and distributed to the whole class. Otherwise each one of the class had to prepare the notes separately. Well, the Don Quixote that I was, I volunteered when all of the others didn't move an inch. Actually, I had a beautiful hand-writing then, copying it from sister's style. Maybe I was peacocking but I wanted Archana to get to know something of me and so I wrote those notes. It wasn't a big deal and it even clarified some concepts for me but my satisfaction came from the idea that Archana will be using those notes all through the year. The VP didn't thank me much for the services I had rendered but anyway I could not have expected it from him because I had written it for Archana than for him. To him, I was non-existent and sadly he was lost in a world of his own. But he was not as odd as my Chemistry teacher, who many considered a psycho. Back then, I never had an idea of depression and so I just thought that these people were just having different personalities.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Dear Santa...
Damn it...it's as if anything I do can have some effect, maybe positive and/or negative. I just want the action to die down into emptiness and not have any reactions. Here too comes the saying that all karmas are binding unless performed in the spirit of sacrifice. I'm not even liking these wise stuff any more and I just want to live with common sense. Anyway, I'm going in that direction only. I do believe that I'm making progress but sometimes the effects are not at all perceivable and I wonder if I'm a big mistake. I know that this negative thinking doesn't help in any way and I just have to pull through after taking rest every now and then.
Okay...let's see what I wish from Santaclaus. I need only 2 things...understanding from those around me and a girl destined for me, in that order. Perhaps these 2 things will remove the psychosis and depression, respectively. Maybe this is a tall order. But for one thing, in both the cases, I don't think I can do anything about it. I cannot relate well enough to people to explain myself and I have no idea who my girl is.
Okay..let's change topic and I will post something on romantic love. Please don't take this as another narcissit post. I'm just finding some hormonal imbalance, maybe...lol
About Archana...it was really not love at first sight. Not even love at second sight, third sight etc. But when I saw her, I found her very beautiful. She is the kind of beauty that no man can actually possess. The kind of beauty that one can watch from a distance but get hurt if one wanted to go near. Her beauty is like that of Ingrid Bergman or Madhubala or Kushboo or a 1% of the female population. She can be like a Goddess in the temple but never in the heart of a man. And what to say if you want to have sex with such a one...it's a sure recipe for disaster. But she was not intelligent. Actually she was the typical beauty without brains. But what compensated her lack of brains was her good nature. Initially I thought she was faking it so that everyone thought nice of her. Then one-day I saw her from the window of the bus. She stood there, tranquil as an angel. It was then that I lost my heart or may be I decided to lose my heart. I knew then that she was indeed a wonderful girl. And on that night, I had a dream of her. Only 3 girls have come in my dreams till now. One was Lakshmi, another was Archana and the 3rd is someone I'm still in touch with now but whose face or figure I could not even understand clearly...lol. But there is a tragedy in tall the 3 dreams in that in all the 3, the girls never mixed or mingled with me. So, going from the past 2 failures and the 3rd also portending a failure even if in the wildest of possibilities a relationship does get formed, my romantic love life is buried inside concrete. To be honest, I'm even scared to enjoy some romance because it might go against love for some other. In the Kalyana Malai song in Pudhu Pudhu Arthangal, there is the line, 'Azhagana manaivi, Anbana thunaivi, amaindhale perinbame.' Archana was both beautiful and kind but unfortunately her kindness was directed more towards her family. Anyway, past is past. Her good nature rubbed onto me to some extent
Okay...let's see what I wish from Santaclaus. I need only 2 things...understanding from those around me and a girl destined for me, in that order. Perhaps these 2 things will remove the psychosis and depression, respectively. Maybe this is a tall order. But for one thing, in both the cases, I don't think I can do anything about it. I cannot relate well enough to people to explain myself and I have no idea who my girl is.
Okay..let's change topic and I will post something on romantic love. Please don't take this as another narcissit post. I'm just finding some hormonal imbalance, maybe...lol
About Archana...it was really not love at first sight. Not even love at second sight, third sight etc. But when I saw her, I found her very beautiful. She is the kind of beauty that no man can actually possess. The kind of beauty that one can watch from a distance but get hurt if one wanted to go near. Her beauty is like that of Ingrid Bergman or Madhubala or Kushboo or a 1% of the female population. She can be like a Goddess in the temple but never in the heart of a man. And what to say if you want to have sex with such a one...it's a sure recipe for disaster. But she was not intelligent. Actually she was the typical beauty without brains. But what compensated her lack of brains was her good nature. Initially I thought she was faking it so that everyone thought nice of her. Then one-day I saw her from the window of the bus. She stood there, tranquil as an angel. It was then that I lost my heart or may be I decided to lose my heart. I knew then that she was indeed a wonderful girl. And on that night, I had a dream of her. Only 3 girls have come in my dreams till now. One was Lakshmi, another was Archana and the 3rd is someone I'm still in touch with now but whose face or figure I could not even understand clearly...lol. But there is a tragedy in tall the 3 dreams in that in all the 3, the girls never mixed or mingled with me. So, going from the past 2 failures and the 3rd also portending a failure even if in the wildest of possibilities a relationship does get formed, my romantic love life is buried inside concrete. To be honest, I'm even scared to enjoy some romance because it might go against love for some other. In the Kalyana Malai song in Pudhu Pudhu Arthangal, there is the line, 'Azhagana manaivi, Anbana thunaivi, amaindhale perinbame.' Archana was both beautiful and kind but unfortunately her kindness was directed more towards her family. Anyway, past is past. Her good nature rubbed onto me to some extent
The rise and fall of Avatars
If in Bhagavad Gita, Krishna portrays Himself as Sakalakalavallavan (master of all trades), Shri Vaishnavism takes Narayana to the extreme. Atleast in the Bhagavad Gita, souls had some role to play. But in SV, well...sorry to say...souls are as good as dead. It's as if when Narayana is allowed to make love, the souls have to be satisfied with just masturbation...lol. And, even the masturbation is supposed to be for the pleasure of Narayana (maybe He hides and watches them doing it). LOL
Okay...this is all crazy. Kannaal kaanbathum poi, kaadhaal ketpadhum poi. Theera visaarippadhe mei. (What all is seen by the eyes is false. What all is heard by the ears is false. Only the indepth investigation is the truth.)
When people have Upanyasams that are extreme, no wonder there is a lot of violence. These Upanyasams no doubt contain invaluable truths but when wrong words or phrases are used, it entirely changes the meaning and desired effect. These Upanyasams can easily be misused like how some use the promise of 72 virgins for jihadis or when Jesus says that He has come with a sword etc.
These flaming verses and quotes that are there in the different religions are also because of Karma. A verse that was told in some context thousands of years back is interpreted the same way as if things haven't changed. Sure, something is constant always which no one can explain with words on which everything in the universe moves about and is based on. In this respect, the Muslims are a little fortunate because they do not worship a form. Ofcourse their insistence that God neither gets born nor dies to negate the possibility of avatars is erroneous because even the Hindus say that the soul is not born or dies.
There is a very important concept, if not the most important concept, pertaining to avatar. It is this...is there an unique soul, different from all other souls, called Narayana that gets born in every age as an avatar or does every soul one-day becomes an avatar? The answer is that the 2nd statement is correct. Below is the reason...
I have heard in SV supporting the 1st statement but it is erroneous. In the 5th verse of 4th chapter of the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna says that He knows all of His births but that Arjuna doesn't know. By differentiating Himself from Arjuna this way, it can be interpreted that Krishna and Arjuna maintain this status quo always. But I have 2 arguments against this, the 1st from my own understanding which is based on evolutionary principles and the 2nd from the avatara puranas itself. The correct way to interpret what Krishna said in the above verse is that, Krishna has evolved 100% and hence knows all of the stages or births He has gone through while Arjuna is still evolving and cannot know the future stages or births to perfection. The 2nd argument from the avatara puranas is this...Rama did not become an avatar till He met the Parasurama avatar. This means that Rama was still evolving while Parasurama was already an avatar and they both were two different souls. And when they met, the role just got passed on from one to the other like in a relay race.
The error in the Hare Krishnas is that they elevate an avatar to the status of God. Doing it makes Narasimha no different than Hiranyakashipu because even Hiranyakashipu wanted to rule everyone. Vishnu means All-Pervading and this simple meaning must not be unnecessarily complicated intellectually.
Okay...this is all crazy. Kannaal kaanbathum poi, kaadhaal ketpadhum poi. Theera visaarippadhe mei. (What all is seen by the eyes is false. What all is heard by the ears is false. Only the indepth investigation is the truth.)
When people have Upanyasams that are extreme, no wonder there is a lot of violence. These Upanyasams no doubt contain invaluable truths but when wrong words or phrases are used, it entirely changes the meaning and desired effect. These Upanyasams can easily be misused like how some use the promise of 72 virgins for jihadis or when Jesus says that He has come with a sword etc.
These flaming verses and quotes that are there in the different religions are also because of Karma. A verse that was told in some context thousands of years back is interpreted the same way as if things haven't changed. Sure, something is constant always which no one can explain with words on which everything in the universe moves about and is based on. In this respect, the Muslims are a little fortunate because they do not worship a form. Ofcourse their insistence that God neither gets born nor dies to negate the possibility of avatars is erroneous because even the Hindus say that the soul is not born or dies.
There is a very important concept, if not the most important concept, pertaining to avatar. It is this...is there an unique soul, different from all other souls, called Narayana that gets born in every age as an avatar or does every soul one-day becomes an avatar? The answer is that the 2nd statement is correct. Below is the reason...
I have heard in SV supporting the 1st statement but it is erroneous. In the 5th verse of 4th chapter of the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna says that He knows all of His births but that Arjuna doesn't know. By differentiating Himself from Arjuna this way, it can be interpreted that Krishna and Arjuna maintain this status quo always. But I have 2 arguments against this, the 1st from my own understanding which is based on evolutionary principles and the 2nd from the avatara puranas itself. The correct way to interpret what Krishna said in the above verse is that, Krishna has evolved 100% and hence knows all of the stages or births He has gone through while Arjuna is still evolving and cannot know the future stages or births to perfection. The 2nd argument from the avatara puranas is this...Rama did not become an avatar till He met the Parasurama avatar. This means that Rama was still evolving while Parasurama was already an avatar and they both were two different souls. And when they met, the role just got passed on from one to the other like in a relay race.
The error in the Hare Krishnas is that they elevate an avatar to the status of God. Doing it makes Narasimha no different than Hiranyakashipu because even Hiranyakashipu wanted to rule everyone. Vishnu means All-Pervading and this simple meaning must not be unnecessarily complicated intellectually.
What's the solution, Honey?
Only time will tell. But while we are waiting, we may as well take rest and let time do the healing.
Friendship and Dharma
Which is more important? Friendship or Dharma? Eventually, they both mean the same thing but some discrimination is necessary to understand them.
Karna was without doubt the greatest friend anyone can hope to have. But Duryodhana, didn't value it. It's because a good friend will never expect anything, whether it is a drink at a coffee house or life. Contrast this with the friendship between Sudama and Krishna. Sudama, even though in terrible poverty had only to use his friendship to get some money from Krishna but instead he just gave Him home-made food and walked away. But Krishna knew this and sent him whatever he needed.
But it is said that even Dharma is relative...that God uses both Dharma and Adharma to establish the greater Dharma. That is why Krishna resorted to many unfair means that was against Friendship or Dharma. Eventually, Krishna too had to go through the Karmic reactions from all of His unfair actions, like not having any descendant children of His own, getting shot by a hunter's arrow etc.
Dharmam thalai Kaakkum. (Dharma saves the head) ~ Tamil proverb.
Dharma, when protected, protects. ~ Hindu scriptures
Karna was without doubt the greatest friend anyone can hope to have. But Duryodhana, didn't value it. It's because a good friend will never expect anything, whether it is a drink at a coffee house or life. Contrast this with the friendship between Sudama and Krishna. Sudama, even though in terrible poverty had only to use his friendship to get some money from Krishna but instead he just gave Him home-made food and walked away. But Krishna knew this and sent him whatever he needed.
But it is said that even Dharma is relative...that God uses both Dharma and Adharma to establish the greater Dharma. That is why Krishna resorted to many unfair means that was against Friendship or Dharma. Eventually, Krishna too had to go through the Karmic reactions from all of His unfair actions, like not having any descendant children of His own, getting shot by a hunter's arrow etc.
Dharmam thalai Kaakkum. (Dharma saves the head) ~ Tamil proverb.
Dharma, when protected, protects. ~ Hindu scriptures
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