My observations on 'MAm Aekam Sharanam Vracha'

The 66th verse of the 18th chapter of the Bhagavad Gita concludes all the teachings of Shri Krishna. In a way, it puts an end to any more vacillation. There are many interpretations on it by great scholars, each very beautiful. Below is an observation of mine.

There are 3 interpretations to the word "Sharanam", all of them looking at the same reality from a different angle.

"Sharanam" as referring to falling at the feet of the Lord...

The Sri Vaishnavaites like this interpretation very much. It's because they feel they are a privileged lot and want to be rid of class distinctions.

"Sharanam" as referring to Surrender of the ego to the Lord...

This is a much finer interpretation than the previous one. Vibishana surrendered to Rama knowing that Rama will not let down those wanting his friendship. Even when everyone advised against taking VibishanA as it may be a military strategy of RAvanA, Rama said that he cannot deny protection to anyone seeking Him, even if it meant he may be a traitor.

"Sharanam" as taking Refuge in the Lord...

To me, this is the best interpretation. Here, there is no requirement of destroying the barrier of class distinction or the ego. Here, one simply loves and trusts the Lord and claims the right to His protection. It's something like in the story where the Dove takes refuge in the king Shibi when the Eagle chases it down. In the picture, it may seem as if the calf is under the embrace of Shri Krishna, but it is also true that He has taken refuge in the love of the calf.

I am caught between 2 sides of me, the emotional and the rational. It's not that the two are against each other...it's just that they have not yet merged with one another yet.

Will it help if I am only emotional and drop all rationality? Can I simply ask for Archana back? Can I just be nice to people and expect that they will not ask for some real contribution?

I do not relish the self-imposed yoga practice. Sure, there is a sense of achievement every now and then. But my body keeps burning all the time under the discipline and concentration I try to maintain. Sometimes, it looks artificial. But then, I tell myself that if I practice it long enough, it will become natural. I have been prodding for some time expecting such a transition to happen any-time but as I reach a result, I see the goal extend further.

For me, it's a self-imposed exile. When I feel comfortable enough to trust myself and others, I will return back home.