I have a lot to tell (assuming someone wants to hear it). But, I have gone back into my tortoise shell for now.
I want to tell about 2 things.
I have stopped visiting facebook because I was again getting those psychotic thoughts. I may never again go there. I don't know. In the Narada Bhakti Sutras, it is said that the effects of evil company starts as ripples and then become as large as the ocean. Facebook is quite clean...atleast that's what I believe the majority attempt to make it to be. And like germs in our body, it is practically impossible to get rid of all evil company. It's only when the concentration exceeds some limit that one has to be quarantined. And that is what I have done...I have quarantined myself till I become completely immune to those. It is also said that a seed, if burnt thoroughly, cannot give raise to a tree. So, I'm not going back to facebook till I'm thoroughly burnt of bad past karma. When such a thing happens to someone, what malicious do will bounce over or they will themselves get burnt, like a meteor near a star.
Am I being selfish, thinking only about my good? You may ask...what right do I have to decide how open or closed my social network should be. My belief is that only when I'm 100% alright can I truly love people. And for being alright, I need to be alone to sort out my life.
The 2nd thing I want to say is about my romantic love life. I was (maybe I'm still) interested in a girl on the old forum whom I saw many years ago at a temple over here. I guess one nasty person and another rich gal hijacked her identity. Later I did get to be a friend but being foolish and in a mess and ofcourse, not right in the head, I disengaged the friendship. And, it looks to me as if she is interested in me as well. If I was like how I was back in my teens, nothing would have made me more happier. But, I'm not that Arvy. I'm Arvind, more mature and it is a challenge for me to synchronize the romantic part of me with the humane part of me. I have seen life at it's worst and so I know that it is not a bed of roses. While I do love fairy tales, I really don't know if life can become a fairy tale that ends well. In my younger years, I would have immediately set-off like Don-Quixote for romance but now, I'm an old horse too tired to get up to do everyday tasks. Back then, I told Archana that I will fight the whole world if I have to (from my arrogant belief in my capacities). Today, I concur more with the Hindi movie Dilwale Duniya Le Jaayenge, if at all it is possible. So as the DOS command goes, would you like to Abort, Cancel or Retry?
I want to tell about 2 things.
I have stopped visiting facebook because I was again getting those psychotic thoughts. I may never again go there. I don't know. In the Narada Bhakti Sutras, it is said that the effects of evil company starts as ripples and then become as large as the ocean. Facebook is quite clean...atleast that's what I believe the majority attempt to make it to be. And like germs in our body, it is practically impossible to get rid of all evil company. It's only when the concentration exceeds some limit that one has to be quarantined. And that is what I have done...I have quarantined myself till I become completely immune to those. It is also said that a seed, if burnt thoroughly, cannot give raise to a tree. So, I'm not going back to facebook till I'm thoroughly burnt of bad past karma. When such a thing happens to someone, what malicious do will bounce over or they will themselves get burnt, like a meteor near a star.
Am I being selfish, thinking only about my good? You may ask...what right do I have to decide how open or closed my social network should be. My belief is that only when I'm 100% alright can I truly love people. And for being alright, I need to be alone to sort out my life.
The 2nd thing I want to say is about my romantic love life. I was (maybe I'm still) interested in a girl on the old forum whom I saw many years ago at a temple over here. I guess one nasty person and another rich gal hijacked her identity. Later I did get to be a friend but being foolish and in a mess and ofcourse, not right in the head, I disengaged the friendship. And, it looks to me as if she is interested in me as well. If I was like how I was back in my teens, nothing would have made me more happier. But, I'm not that Arvy. I'm Arvind, more mature and it is a challenge for me to synchronize the romantic part of me with the humane part of me. I have seen life at it's worst and so I know that it is not a bed of roses. While I do love fairy tales, I really don't know if life can become a fairy tale that ends well. In my younger years, I would have immediately set-off like Don-Quixote for romance but now, I'm an old horse too tired to get up to do everyday tasks. Back then, I told Archana that I will fight the whole world if I have to (from my arrogant belief in my capacities). Today, I concur more with the Hindi movie Dilwale Duniya Le Jaayenge, if at all it is possible. So as the DOS command goes, would you like to Abort, Cancel or Retry?
