Hasta Manana (until tomorrow)

I just want to stop any interaction that can lead to my psychotic thoughts, which in turn affects my work. Actually, there's nothing psychotic about my facebook friends. But I get indirectly drawn into undesirable thoughts. My over-imaginative brain needs some fodder to keep chewing negativity. And so I just want to nip it in the bud. So I'm not going there till I become fully normal. I will be only posting here.

This makes me a very lonely person. But it's something I take voluntarily. If only the world around me was different. It will be...one day. Perhaps, a better way to put it is...if only the way I perceive the world was different. It will be...one day.

I stopped masturbating for a week and what a good thing it's been. I have more energy. Yes...I'm one of those guys walking on the road loaded and without having lost virginity (atleast no girl has physically done it to me).

Sorry

I mistakenly thought that my photo was disfigured. Actually, I was using Opera browser in Turbo mode and since it optimizes the page's images, it looked distorted.

But I don't why I cannot use an account registered with a different email than Gmail to upload images.

Look guys, please don't try to sabotage my work (if you are trying to). It's not going to help anyone.

6 keywords I plan to live by

Jnanan
Bhakthi
Svadharmam
Vairagyam
Dhyanam
Sharanam

What is all this above, you dumbo Arvy?

Never mind it...I was thinking that I should work 1 hour extra daily the rest of my life for all the time I have wasted. So I plan to do some volunteering by answering mental health questions. Dear Arvy, if you don't mind me asking you...

Arvy says: I know what you want to ask and I won't mind, go on, ask.

"When you are sometimes a nutcase yourself, how can you help others?"

First, being a nutcase myself occasionally (it's occasionally and not sometimes. Get your facts right before you ask me.), I can understand another nut. Or fruit. Moreover, I have come a long way and so can help.

Funny

That the 'great' Blogger wants to disfigure my puny little face. Wow...I'm honoured.

Having said that, this is going to be my routine...read a chapter from the Bhagavad Gita, listen to the Sundara Kandam, live by LUCK, listen to the Vishnu Sahasranama and repeat the Grace affirmation.

LUCK for your information is

Long
Uninterrupted
Content
Krishna Unakke Preethi

Please don't waste your time on me.

Accept it, buddy Arvy

You are really not in one of your best of life times. You have certain things in mind, do some practices and hold something in your heart, all of which doesn't bring immediately a paisa to you. Yes...you can sleep without AC, live on the pavement, need just enough clothes to not get stones thrown on you and meals that can be obtained for free from temples. But is this practical? Your relatives look at you sympathetically and your friends probably are wondering what off the hand remark you are going to make. Is this the life you want or wanted?

Let me tell you...you have got to quit something and you have got to take up something. Quit playing games. I know that you cannot go on like this mistrusting everyone and everything. You make a nice video of Grace but you know that you are not putting your full belief into it. Even though you know that it is true. Will you panic? I don't know. I know that you will come out oneday but I only hope that you wouldn't have to pass through the panicking phase.

I think you should take up sewing clothes. Or baby-sit at a nursery. Because you have become too effeminate. You don't need a moustache. You need your breasts to swell.

Low intensity psychotic depression

That's my present diagnosis of myself.

After reading/hearing for 48 days Sundara Kandam, my manic bi-polar has gone. My BP went away after listening daily to Vishnu Sahasranama. But I still have some psychosis and depression. These two I expect to go by reading a chapter of Bhagavad Gita and doing 45 minutes of online volunteering daily. I'm also chanting the Dvaya Mantram 18 times just after I wake up and just before I go to sleep. At these two times, the brain is supposed to be in the alpha and beta state...a plastic state of mind. I expect some marked change within the next 48 days.

What does it mean not to be a manic-bipolar? It means I will not be emotionally super-charged suddenly and without a basis.

Grace

Grace is available for free, anytime, anywhere. Grace enters, when allowed inside. By letting in Grace, it is extended to others.

M

What does the theory of the universe called? Some M. But what the M is, even those who gave the name don't know.

I was wondering what the 20 odd studs were doing? They were definitely from the police or the military but they weren't armed. It looked as if they were on the beach to cool off. I walked on and then saw their reason for being there. M didn't look into my eyes. The specs and the pony tail didn't affect my perception much..actually I'm so slow that if someone comes to me directly and introduced themselves, I would like to request them to allow me to take a walk to tally inside my brain. Ofcourse, that's only if it wasn't a matter of life or death. If it was, my reptilian brain automatically takes over.

String theory or M theory, the universe can make use of all the functionally efficient and effective to offset the inaction of cripples like me.

A paralytic

That's how I'm feeling. Atleast I'm getting in touch with the depths of me. If someone places a begging bowl next to where I lie down, the picture will be complete.

It's okay. Sickness is sweet sometimes.

Note to myself: Don't be depressed

It's said that sometimes people quit not knowing that they are almost there.

I'm not quitting my life but I think I'm going to quit writing the novel. There is not enough passion in me to do it. I just want to progress to the mode of goodness.

Patterns in life are sometimes interesting to come across, especially when they are positive.

Today, I saw a beautiful house getting destroyed. A house from a long lost heaven. I thought...there goes down another reminder of the old time.

There are many messages in the Bhagavad Gita. The first couple of messages are...'Don't be weak. Don't quit.'

Today I'm glad that I take just a single tablet of low dosage in the night, down from 9 once. I'm glad that the burning sensation in my body is gone.

Goodness is bland. The happiness from it is subtle and increases as the receptivity increases over time.

I'm wondering about my duty to others. Ofcourse, before that, I'm wondering how I can stand on my own feet.

My old doctor's clinic had a quote like this..."When it looks as if no one understands you, when it is difficult to even explain, remember God. He knows what you are going through and you needn't explain anything to Him."

The 5 things that I do daily

I have settled on these 5 things. Looks like it is stable.

1. Read a chapter from the Bhagavad Gita. (Jnana Yoga)
2. Read a chapter from the Sundara Kandam (Bhakthi Yoga)
3. Volunteer online for 1 hour (Karma Yoga)
4. Listen to the Vishnu Sahasranama (Dhyana Yoga)
5. Chant 54 times the Dvaya Mantra (Prapatti)

I'm pretty content now.

I'm posting a lot of gibberish in this post

sfdfrfrf

LOSING IT?

      ilssda;s                

                                                        358590232

Kh Where are u?

• Lakshmi
• Archana
• ???????
• More?

grsoow                                                                                   grklsssmsffww




















????ghhfjkdk?????                                       58888                                                    

remember?

u've come a long..........................................................................................................................
____   ____
<@> | <@>

GJTJFM,F KKDDDVV


iRrEvErSiBlE

<<<<<<<<<<<-------------------------------))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Valp is out of my life

I'm not taking the mood stabilizer Valp any more. I'm just taking an anti-psychotic drug Solian, which is of a very minimal dosage.

A few would like me to go mad but I have crossed that stage a long time back. I don't hate them or pity them or worry about them. Everyone is the architect of his or her own destiny.

I have decided to play chess for atleast half an hour daily. I have found that I might be having 'Executive functions disorder' which is not being able to do things like organizing, planning, prioritizing etc. When I was a kid, I was not at all interested in studies but I could still pass or be above average because I was good in games and sports. That was nearly 20 years ago. After that, I have never really taken up any sports that sharpens my intelligence. Now, I'm going to start exercising my brain again so that I can get things done better in my job.

I'm chanting the Dvaya mantra 54+ times daily. I'm expecting it to get me out of Solian dependency. Let's see how I'm in 48 days. Already, it is 3rd or 4th day.

I have taught the mantra to my mom. I think she will get better from now on.