La la la...

Trying to sing a song but actually having butterflies in my stomach. Me a writer? Me a lunatic? I'm willing to accept that only one of them can be true. Atleast, 50% chance is better than none.

Lavanya

She was a very dear friend in school. At first, she was acting only like a close friend. And while all the tme I was trying to impress Archana, she was trying to impress me. I didn't notice it for some time and I kind of used the good relations with her as a way of getting the attention of Archana. I did get it, not just Archana's but also the whole class. I wouldn't call myself manipulative. Lavanya was an extrovert but she wasn't exactly a beauty though a few guys considered her hot. She had a good heart. Actually, I didn't find a single one whom I could call as crooked. It was an age of innocence. Even Swami and Harish had a good nature behind their snobbish attitude. A couple of times I have wondered if I got ditched by Archana because of Lavanya's curse. I don't think so. Maybe she would have shouted at me behind my back but not to the extent of cursing me. I miss her friendship.

Vishwanath was an amazing and handsome guy. A gem. There was this circle of friends who used to hang out together as a group. At such an young age, they made a statement of style by being together in everything. If there is one thing that I have not had the fortune of, it is to belong to a group of tight-knit college friends. I had invested a lot in Archana in college that I didn't seek such friends.

I'm beginning to feel like how I was in the last year of my school in 92-93. This time I hope to play my cards right but I wonder if I have any control over it. Presented with the same options again, I would choose differently in a thing or two. But I don't know what those one or two things are.

Getting Wisdom in the internet age

I do this by an adaptation of a verse in the Bhgavad Gita (4:34)

"Learn thou this by discipleship, by investigation, and by service. The wise, seers of the essence of things, will instruct thee in wisdom."

I read a chapter of the Bhagavad Gita daily. It's said in the Varaha Purana that someone who reads like this is like a body guard. It looks like a truth because the chapters are all a source of wisdom, is practical, continues like a thread and has a reality check. While reading, I note down the difficult areas or terms for trying to find the meaning further.


I'm not in any regular disciplic succession. The Guru that I have, my counselor, isn't really interested in it. So I treat all the spiritual souls on the internet as my Guru. So I say the following Guru mantra to find the meaning from search engines.

"Guru Brahma, Guru Vishnur
Guru Devo Maheshwaraha
Guru Saakshaath Para Brahman
Thasmai Shri Guruve Namaha."

Is it really necessary to say the mantra? I say it to make a contract that I'm going to have an open mind while reading it. It's not just a fancy ritual. Those who write articles or take part in the forums dealing with spirituality, atleast momentarily become Brahma, Vishnu, Maheshwara and the Para Brahman. It's proper that one gives recognition to them as such and also declare that the wisdom gained is because of their benevolence.

Once that is done, the next step is to ask repeated questions. Suppose one doesn't understand a term or a sentence or a passage in the scripture and reads an article which gives an explanation. But it will likely, atleast in the initial stages, open a Pandora's box of other such terms, sentences and passages. So one has to go an search again. The good thing is generally it takes a few searches to get a query clarified and that is the triumph of the day!

Slowly and steadily, when one reads the scripture daily, more will get clarified and after some point, the essence of the Wisdom that the text conveys, would have been understood. It might look as if one has understood all that is there in the scripture but big scriptures like the Gita, the Bible, the Koran etc. can give new meanings with each reading. For example, when someone patiently had finished reading the Gita for 18 days, when he or she reads the 1st chapter, he or she will find a new thing that was not known before. A new meaning might result from the experience that one has had in the 18 days. He or she might have misread or mispronounced a word which had given a completely different meaning. He or she might be even noticing a term for the first time, even though the passage has been read many times.

After all this, it's important to do something good for the 'Guru' materialistically. 'Gurus' or those who engage in contemplating spiritual things have lost valuable time that they could have used for earning money through a worldly pursuit. It is a duty for the disciple to compensate for this loss by giving back something concrete and materialistic. When I go to my counselor, I do it by giving the session fees. On the internet, one can do to some extent by sending a thank you note or taking part in the forums and answering the questions others has posed or sharing the article to make it popular and thereby increase website visitors leading to advertisement clicks or donating some money if there is a Donate button.

This is no different than learning science or maths at school but people have to really do the 3 things (pay tribute to the Guru, ask repeated questions and do service back) to make the process fulfilling and complete. I have told this in the context of Hinduism but I believe that other religions recommend formally or informally the same thing.

The case history of a specimen called Arvy - 5638934

Arvy - 5638934 (the number is just what was on the container used during fertilization) has been caught, isolated and sterilized. Presently, it's on it's way to being undressed into Nirvana. The spoilt thing that it is, it's waiting with great resistance in the lab for it's final stripping. The doctor, holding a knife and scissors on each hand, is giving a wide grin, much to the annoyance of Arvy - 5638934. The nurse is waiting with a glee on her face, which was last seen the time she castrated him. Arvy - 5638934 is showing varied facial expressions, some of which has not yet been documented. A team of high profile scientists from NASA are arriving to see if there will result an out of the world experience from a possible mutation in his gene at the final high voltage shock coupled with TLC that is proposed to be given. The mentioned case subject has no idea of what is in store for him but is struggling with the self-imposed sexual restrictions. Specimen ______ - 3395885 was brought to relieve the tension but the jerk that he is, neglected her. His father, the low profile chief scientist who genetically engineered him, is a happy and contented man, knowing that His creation is almost ready for display to the public. Should He beli eve or jolt the vigorous?

I'm very tired

I'm not well.

I want to cry out but I don't because either I will be faking it also or it might not be heard.

I wish I disappeared into nothingness now. I really don't know why I need to be still alive. So many people die in accidents. Why haven't I died like that?

Treat him with understanding

It's a terrible tragedy in Norway. A lot of families would be in despair now. I'm not interested in arguing whether Norway is a neutral country or not.

The guy joins those like Frankl, who need psychiatric treatment, understanding and love rather than hate.

It's not that I'm taking a stand with a violent person or a terrorist.

Just now, I myself feel paralyzed without being able to work and kind of dead. Probably as psychotic as the guy but thankfully under medication.

Sometimes, and atleast once in everyone's life, it is best to remain motionless and let a higher power carry oneself.

Posting from after-life

:D

I'm going to die soon

Don't worry. It need not be a physical death. More like...But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep. Strangely (and thankfully), I'm not weary.

My uncle told his sister (my aunt) that he was going to day and he died within 12 hours. Although he was a heart patient and was getting treated for an infection, no one thought that he would die.

I have no regrets. I was the same one who changed from the good to bad to ugly and back. I just hope that it gets over fast without troubling anyone. So long, folks.

My dear Pravda friends

I cannot come back to Pravda. But it's not that I don't want to interact with you people. If you still remember me  and want to talk with me, you can do so here through comments.

Alien tips on Brahmacharya

1. Thou shall better not fantasize about too many women or men.
2. Thou shall include your partner in your sexual life (is it possible otherwise???). I mean, don't jack off.
3. Be moderate.
4. Wean away from it when you have made photo copies of yourself.

Writing another blog

http://my.opera.com/yogi-saran/blog/

I don't know which movie it is...Casablanca or Gone with the Wind, where the protagonist says something that means..."we both are basically inconsequential in the large world."

Being important has never been important to me. If it had been, I would have atleast tried be the topper in something. Maybe, I once wanted to be the best scientist. I don't know but I dropped the pursuit when science appeared dry. I think having attention on me was/is important. I don't crave to be the center of attention but I would like to be reminded that I'm not living in vain.

:)

Lucky?

Maybe I will add 'y' to Luck. 'y' for yoga. Funny to have acronyms. Sometimes it becomes a headache to find a word to fit in. lol.

I'm answering questions at answers. yahoo.com as a way of settling my debt of 15 years of being an invalid. My previous told me once...you have to do more than what a normal person should do since you did not do anything for many years. Now, I'm setting apart a bit of my time for that.

After a long time and by long, I mean more than a decade, I'm feeling fulfilled at the end of the day. Ofcourse, there is a long way to go to work with full attention consistently for 4-5 hours daily. I don't mind if I live more or less like how I did today and I also won't mind if I died today.

Please don't insult my intelligene

The mis-spelling is (UN)intentional. :)

"Surely You're Joking, Mr. Arvy!": Ventures of a Curious Character

Thanks, for tolerating me to use the words of Feyman.

I came across the book title during my engineering days, when I was trying to be a great physicist (but I was not going to settle for being compared to anyone lesser than Einstein). After biting the humble pie and coming to also understand that I didn't have enough brains to be a great scientist, I have to settle for being a 'great spiritualist'...oopps...not even a great one at that. Maybe just a 'spiritualist'. I don't even like this. Just the neighbour next door.

I'm living by luck. I want to say some thing on this (and that's what is behind the blog title).

The acronym 'luck' comes from...

L - long. What does long mean? I put a tentative period as 48 days. It's called as 1 Mandalam. Maybe 1 Mandalam is 40 or 41 or 42 days. I believe that anything repeated for 48 days will bear fruit i.e. a some result will happen.
U - uninterrupted. It's also my hope and belief that anything done without a break for 21 days will become a habit i.e.e second nature. So what's going to be done by me?
C - Contentment. This is partly what I'm going to do. What? But you can't do contentment...you can only be content. But everytime I resist buying something desirable but unnecessary, I will be practising contentment. It's just an example. Basically it means living within one's means or enjoying only whatever comes on it's own. Perhaps a little difficult to practise but on second thoughts, if one takes a few moments to look into the many things available already that one is entitled to, one becomes satisfied.
K - Krishna Unakke Preethi. Maybe someone might say 'yuck' in hearing Krishna's name in the formula. Someone might say 'Hare Krishna!' happily. Again, it needs a little bit of discrete understanding of who or what Krishna is. It's really not even necessary to believe in or accept a Personal Krishna to practise this, though doing so helps. Anyway, what it means is that 'Whatever I do is going to benefit Krishna only." Wait...this is a little tricky. It's important to understand that Krishna is inclusive of oneself. Otherwise frankly no one will be interested in doing something that is not benefiting oneself also in some way. I repeat Krishna Unakke Preethi before everything I do, from eating to walking to working to passing urine etc. What!!! you are giving your urine to Krishna? Yes, for all practical purposes, it can be a good fertilizer. There is an advantage in repeating Krishna Unakke Preethi. Perhaps, someone might just do these things in that spirit without the need to say it. But there is an advantage, like what I read in the "Getting Things Done" book by David Allen. There he says...get the stuff off your mind. That is why I make it a ritual to read the Bhagavad Gita or hear the Sundara Kandam or listen to the Vishnu Sahasranama. When I do it mechanically, it frees up my mind to infinite things. It may complained that doing something mechanically isn't being sincere but even doing it requires some effort to stabilize it initially (the 1st 21 days) and then patiently taking the trouble to do it for the result (the full 48 days). But really, and this is where all this looks like a joke...how can mere repetition of some simple ritual make one productive or pay the bills? Read on.

It's a matter of rewiring the neurons in the brain, activating the cells in the body etc. From the birth, one have been living for oneself. Ofcourse, we have loved our parents by giving back a smile of appreciation or greeting 'Good Morning, Sir"to our teachers etc. But did we initiate it or did we really mean it or did we ever intend it to the right destination? Doing the ritual of Krishna Unakke Preethi or Krishnarpanam Asthu is basically like watering the roots of a plant. I learnt this from ISKCON. It doesn't help much if one waters the leaf or stem etc. I have been trying to do a job that can really benefit but it's just not possible to always direct it to the roots from the mind. Maybe the real spiritual scientist or devotee can do it. But for the layman, a simple repetition can have the same desired effect with some patience. and that's where the 'long' part comes. One cannot complain much about the long part because the practise is simple. Habits die hard and since we have been living a lot selfishly, it takes some time to reverse the wheel. But it's important to realize the 'i' in Kr i shna...anyone gets some benefit out of doing the service. You might hate Krishna and frankly you don't need to follow this way. If you are living for a long time uninterruptedly putting the effort to live within your means in contentment and dedicating your actions to the good of everyone, you are doing what Krishna has said. Living in contentment and dedication are the twin sides of the same coin. Krishna says this in the 18th chapter about Sanyasa and Tyaga. Sanyasa is giving up desire prompted works which is contentment while Tyaga is giving up the fruits of the works which is dedication. They both being compliment helps in a nice way...if you are a millionaire, enjoy the benefits of a millionaire. And if you are like me without a 9 to 5 job and doing petty  jobs, with a little money in my name in the bank deposited by my father in heaven, live happily with whatever piece of tasty, pure and filling rice and rasam that comes your way. And this is not just some hanky panky idea from me. It's told right in the Bhagavad Gita and in the Pathanjali Yoga in the context of Vairagya and Abhyasa. But it requires some attitude change. And some fortitude. Who knows, I might still oneday do a regular 9 to 5 white collar job. To this, you can say "Surely You're Joking, Mr. Arvy!" ;-)

Hi

As days go by, I become de-sensitized to pain, panic attacks etc. I'm not complaining.