I am caught between 2 sides of me, the emotional and the rational. It's not that the two are against each other...it's just that they have not yet merged with one another yet.

Will it help if I am only emotional and drop all rationality? Can I simply ask for Archana back? Can I just be nice to people and expect that they will not ask for some real contribution?

I do not relish the self-imposed yoga practice. Sure, there is a sense of achievement every now and then. But my body keeps burning all the time under the discipline and concentration I try to maintain. Sometimes, it looks artificial. But then, I tell myself that if I practice it long enough, it will become natural. I have been prodding for some time expecting such a transition to happen any-time but as I reach a result, I see the goal extend further.

For me, it's a self-imposed exile. When I feel comfortable enough to trust myself and others, I will return back home.