I even found a parellel with the Charama Slokam and other things with what they had written in the introductory section.
On improving relations, they had mentioned 5 things...I don't have the book with me now and so i can't tell the exact words.
1. Security - The need for everyone to feel loved, appreciated, safe etc. This corresponds to the Sharanam (refuge).
2. Keep fit - In the sense of being willing to spend energy to improve the relationships. This corresponds to the Vraja (come).
3. It's a system - It's said that many people and things are inter-connected like time, environment and others. This corresponds to the Yekam (One).
4. Many me - Roles everyone has in a relationship changes with time like when a son becomes a friend after growing up as also one is a lover to one, a friend to another, a mother to yet another etc. This corresponds to Maam (Me).
5. The choice factor which gives a sense of control and responsibility leading to habit formation which in turn decides the destiny of the relationship. This corresponds to the Samyama of Dharana (focus), Dhyana (meditation)and Samadhi (self-nature).
The book is ofcourse a lot bigger than this and this just caught my eye. Someone with a Christian background will immediately like the 'I'm ok, you're ok' premise which is a restatement of the Golden Rule in Transactional Analysis. The book covers a lot of emotional issues which not only affect relationships but also every other aspect of life like job. There's a lot of tips based on controlled psychological experimental research and practical suggestions, many of which is not new but still added as part of the package to make it comprehensive. there is also an online website to work out in the mind gym. I will go to the extent of even saying that this book is good as the Bible or the Gita or the Koran for the majority of the people of our times. I have said majority because while this book will be the best gift for the layman facing the insecurities of life, it doesn't go try to go deep and also doesn't cover all the many emotional insecurities of that people have. But still, I think the book will help 80% for a chronically ill and fully for those with the issues discussed (which will number 80%) , which is a great result according to the Pareto Principle.
There is a thing though. The book will benefit those most who are emotionally super-charged but not rational enough. In the Gita, Krishna says...keep your mind on Me, and keep your intelligence on Me and then you will always reside in Me.This book will help one to think about the matters of the heart. This especially will help a drama queen or someone having panic attacks or a guy running around like a chicken with the head cut-off or the wishful thinking types who don't check in with the reality out there in the world under the sunlight for everyone to see. A level-headed person will know the many things told already and for such a person, it is better that he or she reads a fiction novel or watches an award winning movie.
How has it helped me? I have gone through many of the points fast and I was pleasantly surprised to get a better understanding of the Charama Slokam. It has unplugged quite a few valves and hopefully closed quite a few of others. I'm just letting it all sink in to a Dummy that is me. Hey, I can call myself a Dummy but you can't call me a Dummy, Ok? :D
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