Thursday, December 30, 2010
Difference between dependence, liabiity and independence
We are all social creatures. Not a single entity in the universe, whether it be a blade of grass or a street dog or a man in society can live fully independent. It is also true that not a single entity can give all of the necessities of another entity, whether it is a man-woman, father-son or friend-friend relationship. Good relationships and I mean relationships that everyone expects to succeed, like in the movies or the novels, the ones with the tag '...and they happily lived ever after.' break-up for this reason only. There is no inherent error in the participants because whatever the lapses are could be forgiven with some understanding. But then, the participants expect more and more from each other and this then leads the relationship to become a liability. One drops the other in horror because he or she knows that the needs cannot be fulfilled alone. But since one is bound by the vows taken when the relationship started, one goes on only as long as the basic commitments are met, like for example in a marriage, paying whatever alimony. After that comes independence, but even here caution is needed because it's impossibly difficult to live a lonely life. So one still interacts with those related before but this time one looks into the self that is beneath their exterior. Such a self may look a little boring or bland or imperceptible, but it is nevertheless there and it is the only one with which one can truly bond. There is freedom and ease in loving such a self because it doesn't make any demands, being self-content. This is what people say as detached love.
Why self-love is better than self-sacrifice
Let's be clear at the outset that self-love is not selfishness. It's because self-love appreciates oneself not at the cost of others as selfishness does.
Self-sacrifice is also different from self-crucification. It's because self-sacrifice brings about some good for another while self-crucification is done without any benefit to another.
So then let's compare self-love and self-sacrifice. It is seen quite clearly that no beggar can give to another beggar, unless ofcourse he has some excess of what he has received and his own hunger is satisfied. That is why it is said that charity begins at home. If one is always wretched, one cannot focus on helping another. He or she will infact be a burden to the other. However, when one feels joyous, it spreads across his or her environment without even any effort on the part of the person. Note that self-love doesn't mean self-indulgence in material things. Self-love doesn't mean that one goes immediately on a spending spree or book a yacht or take a stunning mate to the bed. It means a little of those things as material things are a medium of happiness but more importantly, it means not condemning oneself with guilt feelings or self-harm or resisting grace or saying no to the free blessings available all around.
Having said that, let's take self-sacrifice. Sure, self-sacrifice is a very noble and good thing. There is only one problem with it...it is not something that one wants to keep doing all eternity. If one has decided to live happily all eternity, one doesn't want to keep subjecting oneself to repeated sacrifices that are painful. There is always an element of pain in sacrifice and so if one keeps sacrificing all eternity, then one has to also keep experiencing these pains all eternity. Then, does it mean that sacrifices has no value? It has,only to the extent that on gets out of the grip of the worldly life. A space shuttle keeps sacrificing only till it reaches the geo-stationary orbit. Once there, it doesn't need to give up anything more. Then there comes the most important question that anyone who has seen it all in his or her life...if I don't sacrifice, who is going to take care of those responsibilities like looking after my spouse or driving my car or not having the roof fall on my head? The answer is...one has to do these sacrifices as long as one gets into the geo-stationary orbit. When one gets into it, then one gets into auto-pilot. It's easy to understand...for example, when one learns to play tennis, one consciously and with some discomfort learns the strokes, then it becomes a habit but still one may be uneasy and finally it becomes second nature without any stress whatsoever. Life is more complex but the same principle operates. In life's journey, one has to keep shedding the unnecessary things as and when required. This requires some care or focus or attention in the initial stages. Then one enters into the meditative phase where it isn't difficult to shed worldly things but worries will still be there. At this stage, there is no other option but to patiently experience these worries instead of escaping or denying their existence. What are these worries? They are nothing but your own little worldly life (the cells in your body) scared that you are abandoning it for something higher. When you got into this worldly life, you added these onto you thinking that they were all there is to you. Now, when you have realized that you belong to something bigger, you are neglecting these closest buddies for no fault of theirs. So, you need to acknowledge them, remove their fears (for they depend on you for their existence) and finally when the time is right, say goodbye in a peaceful manner. Then you can enter into the auto-pilot and be relieved of all worldly cares for both yourself and those around you. The 3 stages are Dharana, Dhyana and Samadhi.
Anyway, when one is liberated, one will be still acting or doing things but it will not be some painful sacrifice. It will be an enjoyable duty.
So, if someone asks you to sacrifice your life for your country, enquire first if there is the option of living for your country.
Self-sacrifice is also different from self-crucification. It's because self-sacrifice brings about some good for another while self-crucification is done without any benefit to another.
So then let's compare self-love and self-sacrifice. It is seen quite clearly that no beggar can give to another beggar, unless ofcourse he has some excess of what he has received and his own hunger is satisfied. That is why it is said that charity begins at home. If one is always wretched, one cannot focus on helping another. He or she will infact be a burden to the other. However, when one feels joyous, it spreads across his or her environment without even any effort on the part of the person. Note that self-love doesn't mean self-indulgence in material things. Self-love doesn't mean that one goes immediately on a spending spree or book a yacht or take a stunning mate to the bed. It means a little of those things as material things are a medium of happiness but more importantly, it means not condemning oneself with guilt feelings or self-harm or resisting grace or saying no to the free blessings available all around.
Having said that, let's take self-sacrifice. Sure, self-sacrifice is a very noble and good thing. There is only one problem with it...it is not something that one wants to keep doing all eternity. If one has decided to live happily all eternity, one doesn't want to keep subjecting oneself to repeated sacrifices that are painful. There is always an element of pain in sacrifice and so if one keeps sacrificing all eternity, then one has to also keep experiencing these pains all eternity. Then, does it mean that sacrifices has no value? It has,only to the extent that on gets out of the grip of the worldly life. A space shuttle keeps sacrificing only till it reaches the geo-stationary orbit. Once there, it doesn't need to give up anything more. Then there comes the most important question that anyone who has seen it all in his or her life...if I don't sacrifice, who is going to take care of those responsibilities like looking after my spouse or driving my car or not having the roof fall on my head? The answer is...one has to do these sacrifices as long as one gets into the geo-stationary orbit. When one gets into it, then one gets into auto-pilot. It's easy to understand...for example, when one learns to play tennis, one consciously and with some discomfort learns the strokes, then it becomes a habit but still one may be uneasy and finally it becomes second nature without any stress whatsoever. Life is more complex but the same principle operates. In life's journey, one has to keep shedding the unnecessary things as and when required. This requires some care or focus or attention in the initial stages. Then one enters into the meditative phase where it isn't difficult to shed worldly things but worries will still be there. At this stage, there is no other option but to patiently experience these worries instead of escaping or denying their existence. What are these worries? They are nothing but your own little worldly life (the cells in your body) scared that you are abandoning it for something higher. When you got into this worldly life, you added these onto you thinking that they were all there is to you. Now, when you have realized that you belong to something bigger, you are neglecting these closest buddies for no fault of theirs. So, you need to acknowledge them, remove their fears (for they depend on you for their existence) and finally when the time is right, say goodbye in a peaceful manner. Then you can enter into the auto-pilot and be relieved of all worldly cares for both yourself and those around you. The 3 stages are Dharana, Dhyana and Samadhi.
Anyway, when one is liberated, one will be still acting or doing things but it will not be some painful sacrifice. It will be an enjoyable duty.
So, if someone asks you to sacrifice your life for your country, enquire first if there is the option of living for your country.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
I might start writing again and finish up the novel. It looks to me that it is half-way through. Like till now it was Part 1 and from now on Part 2. I'm also starting my job life from today. In 2 months, I will have stabilized and after 4 months further, I may be out of my medicines completely decreasing 250mg with every monthly visit. It's fuzzy but there is not much trouble also. The advantage in the initial stages of a disease is that improvements can be measured accurately and dosages decreased predictably. The disadvantage is that the pain is great then. However when one comes to the fag end of the recovery, it's all fuzzy but then the pain is also almost negligible. It might seem like just as one reaches a mile-stone and starts celebrating the end of the journey that a new mile-stone, more subtle, is set up. This is understandable because the recovery from a disease is like peeling of an onion...when one layer is cleared, the next one more subtle appears. So this is a gradual process and requires patience till one reaches the center or root. I guess it's worth the wait and trouble and anyway there doesn't seem to be any other choice. There will be times when one wonders if one is getting out or to the contrary and one's horror, getting more into the pit of quicksand. These are mere thoughts and do not help if one indulges in it. Thoughts have no power of it's own and it gains strength or disappears into nothingness depending on the indulgence of the thinker. Habits die hard and within a habit, there are many tendencies, each of which has to strengthen or die down. Since at the innermost core of the brain, messages are processed only one thing at a time, all these tendencies are changed one by one. This is why the changes are gradual.
Today I finished hearing all those charama slokams. Like the Amrutanjan strong for headache, I guess it has had some effect on my recovery. I don't know. Atleast I did like to believe so. I went to my psychiatrist and he asked me to continue taking Valp as usual. He said that I can take for 2 months before reducing, if possible. Thankfully, he didn't say that it was mandatory for me to take it the rest of my life. He also accepted my idea that if some nice things turn up in my romantic life and if I can feel some sort of security, I wouldn't need to take even that dosage. He indicated to me that once I was taking 5 medicines in the morning and 5 in the evening. So I have come a long way.
When I escaped from Archana, I fell into the darkness of Pravda. Mind you, I'm not complaining about either Archana or Pravda. They are both important parts of my life. Today, I'm out of both of them, atleast in the sense of any direct link with them.
I really don't know what to say about my actions. To some, I might be a hero and to the rest, a villian. To me, I'm just what I used to be all along. I understand that I have ruffled too many feathers but the law of karma is such that everyone is responsible for his or her own good or bad. Maybe I was just a tool. There are those who used me as a pit bull and also those who used me as a shield and as also those who used me as a barbie and as also as those who used me a dildo. I have no regrets in being used because I liked the attention I have got. But when the attention becomes such that I'm made as some sort of super-human...not that my instinct was to complain...but people start resenting it and I lose friends. I have repeatedly told time and again that I'm just a guy next door and it is my wish to be left like that. If people still doubt me, I'm sorry to say that it is not going to affect me but them. While I'm still a guy next door, I have gone through enough to withstand anything coming my way. I do not want to be a xerox of some movie hero or god or whatever but the original me. If you want to screw with Krishna, find His idol at a Hare Krishna temple and if you want me to show my other cheek like Jesus, go to a sucker on the street. Okay...I'm not entirely innocent but I want you to understand one thing well for your own sake. When people go to Thirupathi and worship and worship the idol, it is the people who are important and not the idol. The people who I came across were all great people who put their faith in me and transformed me into something big. I used to ask my mom why she paid more attention instead of my sis. She said that I was the weaker of the two and hence needed more attention. In Pravda too, the same thing happened. I don't say this from humility because I'm tired of being self-righteous. To this day, I have no idea if I'm really perfect in anything. There are those who is the best cricketer, the most handsome, the most attractive etc. Maybe others too don't know what they are perfect in. Whatever it is, if you people can see me as you first saw me in Pravda, be my friend in FB. Otherwise, you are as good as non-existent in my life. Look, I have gone through a lot. You cannot understand what is happening in my mind. I'm like a wild animal that has entered by mistake into a village and wishing to escape. In a way, it is a little bit different in the sense that I'm a tamed animal that entered into the wild and wishes to escape from the jungle. However, there is one thing I want to mention. Since I have started or made to start some things, I cannot leave those things just like THAT. I do not care much for myself because I'm well insulated but there are those who are dependent on me whom I need to guide to safety till they can look after themselves. So, if you meddle with me till then, I will crap your shit out and make no mistake, I mean it. And I do not care who you are. It looks like 2 months to me but then don't worry about numbers. I also love you who ever you are because frankly I have no other choice. I write this in the full knowledge of karma that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Have a nice day and all the best.
When I escaped from Archana, I fell into the darkness of Pravda. Mind you, I'm not complaining about either Archana or Pravda. They are both important parts of my life. Today, I'm out of both of them, atleast in the sense of any direct link with them.
I really don't know what to say about my actions. To some, I might be a hero and to the rest, a villian. To me, I'm just what I used to be all along. I understand that I have ruffled too many feathers but the law of karma is such that everyone is responsible for his or her own good or bad. Maybe I was just a tool. There are those who used me as a pit bull and also those who used me as a shield and as also those who used me as a barbie and as also as those who used me a dildo. I have no regrets in being used because I liked the attention I have got. But when the attention becomes such that I'm made as some sort of super-human...not that my instinct was to complain...but people start resenting it and I lose friends. I have repeatedly told time and again that I'm just a guy next door and it is my wish to be left like that. If people still doubt me, I'm sorry to say that it is not going to affect me but them. While I'm still a guy next door, I have gone through enough to withstand anything coming my way. I do not want to be a xerox of some movie hero or god or whatever but the original me. If you want to screw with Krishna, find His idol at a Hare Krishna temple and if you want me to show my other cheek like Jesus, go to a sucker on the street. Okay...I'm not entirely innocent but I want you to understand one thing well for your own sake. When people go to Thirupathi and worship and worship the idol, it is the people who are important and not the idol. The people who I came across were all great people who put their faith in me and transformed me into something big. I used to ask my mom why she paid more attention instead of my sis. She said that I was the weaker of the two and hence needed more attention. In Pravda too, the same thing happened. I don't say this from humility because I'm tired of being self-righteous. To this day, I have no idea if I'm really perfect in anything. There are those who is the best cricketer, the most handsome, the most attractive etc. Maybe others too don't know what they are perfect in. Whatever it is, if you people can see me as you first saw me in Pravda, be my friend in FB. Otherwise, you are as good as non-existent in my life. Look, I have gone through a lot. You cannot understand what is happening in my mind. I'm like a wild animal that has entered by mistake into a village and wishing to escape. In a way, it is a little bit different in the sense that I'm a tamed animal that entered into the wild and wishes to escape from the jungle. However, there is one thing I want to mention. Since I have started or made to start some things, I cannot leave those things just like THAT. I do not care much for myself because I'm well insulated but there are those who are dependent on me whom I need to guide to safety till they can look after themselves. So, if you meddle with me till then, I will crap your shit out and make no mistake, I mean it. And I do not care who you are. It looks like 2 months to me but then don't worry about numbers. I also love you who ever you are because frankly I have no other choice. I write this in the full knowledge of karma that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Have a nice day and all the best.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Henchard's will
That Elizabeth-Jane Farfrae be not told of my death, or made to grieve on account of me. And that I be not bury’d in consecrated ground. And that no sexton be asked to toll the bell. And that nobody is wished to see my dead body. And that no murners walk behind me at my funeral. And that no flours be planted on my grave. And that no man remember me. ~ The Mayor of Casterbridge
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Tidbits from the old school
When I entered the new school, Hindu Senior Secondary School, at Indra Nagar, in 1993, I wanted to dump my sorry past at the old one (HSSS at Triplicane). In the new one, no one knew me except for Lakshmi. Ofcourse, she was the last person I would have wanted to be in the new school but then after getting refused twice, I just couldn't love her any more.
The Vice-Principal was like any other teacher when I first saw him. He was teaching Physics along with being the VP. He looked smart and I don't know whether this was because of dealing with Nuclear Physics in our syllabus, he was edgy. I had carried a few habits and skills from the old school, one of which was to impress my girl with whatever skill I had in the class. While in the old school, it was reading out poems, in the new one, I wanted to answer the questions that my teachers put forward. So there I was in the physics class before the VP, my classmates and ofcourse Archana. The VP asked questions and I answered. The others didn't answer and I thought they were not as studious as I was. But then the VP asked questions to the class and he himself answered to the class. Later, a friend pulled me aside and asked me, "Are you nuts? Why are you answering him? He never even listens to what you say." And he can get annoyed. Then, I saw that some of the guys were fearing the VP and finding him a nutty professor.
Then, the VP asked in the class if anyone could help him out in writing some notes for him that the which can be xeroxed and distributed to the whole class. Otherwise each one of the class had to prepare the notes separately. Well, the Don Quixote that I was, I volunteered when all of the others didn't move an inch. Actually, I had a beautiful hand-writing then, copying it from sister's style. Maybe I was peacocking but I wanted Archana to get to know something of me and so I wrote those notes. It wasn't a big deal and it even clarified some concepts for me but my satisfaction came from the idea that Archana will be using those notes all through the year. The VP didn't thank me much for the services I had rendered but anyway I could not have expected it from him because I had written it for Archana than for him. To him, I was non-existent and sadly he was lost in a world of his own. But he was not as odd as my Chemistry teacher, who many considered a psycho. Back then, I never had an idea of depression and so I just thought that these people were just having different personalities.
The Vice-Principal was like any other teacher when I first saw him. He was teaching Physics along with being the VP. He looked smart and I don't know whether this was because of dealing with Nuclear Physics in our syllabus, he was edgy. I had carried a few habits and skills from the old school, one of which was to impress my girl with whatever skill I had in the class. While in the old school, it was reading out poems, in the new one, I wanted to answer the questions that my teachers put forward. So there I was in the physics class before the VP, my classmates and ofcourse Archana. The VP asked questions and I answered. The others didn't answer and I thought they were not as studious as I was. But then the VP asked questions to the class and he himself answered to the class. Later, a friend pulled me aside and asked me, "Are you nuts? Why are you answering him? He never even listens to what you say." And he can get annoyed. Then, I saw that some of the guys were fearing the VP and finding him a nutty professor.
Then, the VP asked in the class if anyone could help him out in writing some notes for him that the which can be xeroxed and distributed to the whole class. Otherwise each one of the class had to prepare the notes separately. Well, the Don Quixote that I was, I volunteered when all of the others didn't move an inch. Actually, I had a beautiful hand-writing then, copying it from sister's style. Maybe I was peacocking but I wanted Archana to get to know something of me and so I wrote those notes. It wasn't a big deal and it even clarified some concepts for me but my satisfaction came from the idea that Archana will be using those notes all through the year. The VP didn't thank me much for the services I had rendered but anyway I could not have expected it from him because I had written it for Archana than for him. To him, I was non-existent and sadly he was lost in a world of his own. But he was not as odd as my Chemistry teacher, who many considered a psycho. Back then, I never had an idea of depression and so I just thought that these people were just having different personalities.
Dear Santa...
Damn it...it's as if anything I do can have some effect, maybe positive and/or negative. I just want the action to die down into emptiness and not have any reactions. Here too comes the saying that all karmas are binding unless performed in the spirit of sacrifice. I'm not even liking these wise stuff any more and I just want to live with common sense. Anyway, I'm going in that direction only. I do believe that I'm making progress but sometimes the effects are not at all perceivable and I wonder if I'm a big mistake. I know that this negative thinking doesn't help in any way and I just have to pull through after taking rest every now and then.
Okay...let's see what I wish from Santaclaus. I need only 2 things...understanding from those around me and a girl destined for me, in that order. Perhaps these 2 things will remove the psychosis and depression, respectively. Maybe this is a tall order. But for one thing, in both the cases, I don't think I can do anything about it. I cannot relate well enough to people to explain myself and I have no idea who my girl is.
Okay..let's change topic and I will post something on romantic love. Please don't take this as another narcissit post. I'm just finding some hormonal imbalance, maybe...lol
About Archana...it was really not love at first sight. Not even love at second sight, third sight etc. But when I saw her, I found her very beautiful. She is the kind of beauty that no man can actually possess. The kind of beauty that one can watch from a distance but get hurt if one wanted to go near. Her beauty is like that of Ingrid Bergman or Madhubala or Kushboo or a 1% of the female population. She can be like a Goddess in the temple but never in the heart of a man. And what to say if you want to have sex with such a one...it's a sure recipe for disaster. But she was not intelligent. Actually she was the typical beauty without brains. But what compensated her lack of brains was her good nature. Initially I thought she was faking it so that everyone thought nice of her. Then one-day I saw her from the window of the bus. She stood there, tranquil as an angel. It was then that I lost my heart or may be I decided to lose my heart. I knew then that she was indeed a wonderful girl. And on that night, I had a dream of her. Only 3 girls have come in my dreams till now. One was Lakshmi, another was Archana and the 3rd is someone I'm still in touch with now but whose face or figure I could not even understand clearly...lol. But there is a tragedy in tall the 3 dreams in that in all the 3, the girls never mixed or mingled with me. So, going from the past 2 failures and the 3rd also portending a failure even if in the wildest of possibilities a relationship does get formed, my romantic love life is buried inside concrete. To be honest, I'm even scared to enjoy some romance because it might go against love for some other. In the Kalyana Malai song in Pudhu Pudhu Arthangal, there is the line, 'Azhagana manaivi, Anbana thunaivi, amaindhale perinbame.' Archana was both beautiful and kind but unfortunately her kindness was directed more towards her family. Anyway, past is past. Her good nature rubbed onto me to some extent
Okay...let's see what I wish from Santaclaus. I need only 2 things...understanding from those around me and a girl destined for me, in that order. Perhaps these 2 things will remove the psychosis and depression, respectively. Maybe this is a tall order. But for one thing, in both the cases, I don't think I can do anything about it. I cannot relate well enough to people to explain myself and I have no idea who my girl is.
Okay..let's change topic and I will post something on romantic love. Please don't take this as another narcissit post. I'm just finding some hormonal imbalance, maybe...lol
About Archana...it was really not love at first sight. Not even love at second sight, third sight etc. But when I saw her, I found her very beautiful. She is the kind of beauty that no man can actually possess. The kind of beauty that one can watch from a distance but get hurt if one wanted to go near. Her beauty is like that of Ingrid Bergman or Madhubala or Kushboo or a 1% of the female population. She can be like a Goddess in the temple but never in the heart of a man. And what to say if you want to have sex with such a one...it's a sure recipe for disaster. But she was not intelligent. Actually she was the typical beauty without brains. But what compensated her lack of brains was her good nature. Initially I thought she was faking it so that everyone thought nice of her. Then one-day I saw her from the window of the bus. She stood there, tranquil as an angel. It was then that I lost my heart or may be I decided to lose my heart. I knew then that she was indeed a wonderful girl. And on that night, I had a dream of her. Only 3 girls have come in my dreams till now. One was Lakshmi, another was Archana and the 3rd is someone I'm still in touch with now but whose face or figure I could not even understand clearly...lol. But there is a tragedy in tall the 3 dreams in that in all the 3, the girls never mixed or mingled with me. So, going from the past 2 failures and the 3rd also portending a failure even if in the wildest of possibilities a relationship does get formed, my romantic love life is buried inside concrete. To be honest, I'm even scared to enjoy some romance because it might go against love for some other. In the Kalyana Malai song in Pudhu Pudhu Arthangal, there is the line, 'Azhagana manaivi, Anbana thunaivi, amaindhale perinbame.' Archana was both beautiful and kind but unfortunately her kindness was directed more towards her family. Anyway, past is past. Her good nature rubbed onto me to some extent
The rise and fall of Avatars
If in Bhagavad Gita, Krishna portrays Himself as Sakalakalavallavan (master of all trades), Shri Vaishnavism takes Narayana to the extreme. Atleast in the Bhagavad Gita, souls had some role to play. But in SV, well...sorry to say...souls are as good as dead. It's as if when Narayana is allowed to make love, the souls have to be satisfied with just masturbation...lol. And, even the masturbation is supposed to be for the pleasure of Narayana (maybe He hides and watches them doing it). LOL
Okay...this is all crazy. Kannaal kaanbathum poi, kaadhaal ketpadhum poi. Theera visaarippadhe mei. (What all is seen by the eyes is false. What all is heard by the ears is false. Only the indepth investigation is the truth.)
When people have Upanyasams that are extreme, no wonder there is a lot of violence. These Upanyasams no doubt contain invaluable truths but when wrong words or phrases are used, it entirely changes the meaning and desired effect. These Upanyasams can easily be misused like how some use the promise of 72 virgins for jihadis or when Jesus says that He has come with a sword etc.
These flaming verses and quotes that are there in the different religions are also because of Karma. A verse that was told in some context thousands of years back is interpreted the same way as if things haven't changed. Sure, something is constant always which no one can explain with words on which everything in the universe moves about and is based on. In this respect, the Muslims are a little fortunate because they do not worship a form. Ofcourse their insistence that God neither gets born nor dies to negate the possibility of avatars is erroneous because even the Hindus say that the soul is not born or dies.
There is a very important concept, if not the most important concept, pertaining to avatar. It is this...is there an unique soul, different from all other souls, called Narayana that gets born in every age as an avatar or does every soul one-day becomes an avatar? The answer is that the 2nd statement is correct. Below is the reason...
I have heard in SV supporting the 1st statement but it is erroneous. In the 5th verse of 4th chapter of the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna says that He knows all of His births but that Arjuna doesn't know. By differentiating Himself from Arjuna this way, it can be interpreted that Krishna and Arjuna maintain this status quo always. But I have 2 arguments against this, the 1st from my own understanding which is based on evolutionary principles and the 2nd from the avatara puranas itself. The correct way to interpret what Krishna said in the above verse is that, Krishna has evolved 100% and hence knows all of the stages or births He has gone through while Arjuna is still evolving and cannot know the future stages or births to perfection. The 2nd argument from the avatara puranas is this...Rama did not become an avatar till He met the Parasurama avatar. This means that Rama was still evolving while Parasurama was already an avatar and they both were two different souls. And when they met, the role just got passed on from one to the other like in a relay race.
The error in the Hare Krishnas is that they elevate an avatar to the status of God. Doing it makes Narasimha no different than Hiranyakashipu because even Hiranyakashipu wanted to rule everyone. Vishnu means All-Pervading and this simple meaning must not be unnecessarily complicated intellectually.
Okay...this is all crazy. Kannaal kaanbathum poi, kaadhaal ketpadhum poi. Theera visaarippadhe mei. (What all is seen by the eyes is false. What all is heard by the ears is false. Only the indepth investigation is the truth.)
When people have Upanyasams that are extreme, no wonder there is a lot of violence. These Upanyasams no doubt contain invaluable truths but when wrong words or phrases are used, it entirely changes the meaning and desired effect. These Upanyasams can easily be misused like how some use the promise of 72 virgins for jihadis or when Jesus says that He has come with a sword etc.
These flaming verses and quotes that are there in the different religions are also because of Karma. A verse that was told in some context thousands of years back is interpreted the same way as if things haven't changed. Sure, something is constant always which no one can explain with words on which everything in the universe moves about and is based on. In this respect, the Muslims are a little fortunate because they do not worship a form. Ofcourse their insistence that God neither gets born nor dies to negate the possibility of avatars is erroneous because even the Hindus say that the soul is not born or dies.
There is a very important concept, if not the most important concept, pertaining to avatar. It is this...is there an unique soul, different from all other souls, called Narayana that gets born in every age as an avatar or does every soul one-day becomes an avatar? The answer is that the 2nd statement is correct. Below is the reason...
I have heard in SV supporting the 1st statement but it is erroneous. In the 5th verse of 4th chapter of the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna says that He knows all of His births but that Arjuna doesn't know. By differentiating Himself from Arjuna this way, it can be interpreted that Krishna and Arjuna maintain this status quo always. But I have 2 arguments against this, the 1st from my own understanding which is based on evolutionary principles and the 2nd from the avatara puranas itself. The correct way to interpret what Krishna said in the above verse is that, Krishna has evolved 100% and hence knows all of the stages or births He has gone through while Arjuna is still evolving and cannot know the future stages or births to perfection. The 2nd argument from the avatara puranas is this...Rama did not become an avatar till He met the Parasurama avatar. This means that Rama was still evolving while Parasurama was already an avatar and they both were two different souls. And when they met, the role just got passed on from one to the other like in a relay race.
The error in the Hare Krishnas is that they elevate an avatar to the status of God. Doing it makes Narasimha no different than Hiranyakashipu because even Hiranyakashipu wanted to rule everyone. Vishnu means All-Pervading and this simple meaning must not be unnecessarily complicated intellectually.
What's the solution, Honey?
Only time will tell. But while we are waiting, we may as well take rest and let time do the healing.
Friendship and Dharma
Which is more important? Friendship or Dharma? Eventually, they both mean the same thing but some discrimination is necessary to understand them.
Karna was without doubt the greatest friend anyone can hope to have. But Duryodhana, didn't value it. It's because a good friend will never expect anything, whether it is a drink at a coffee house or life. Contrast this with the friendship between Sudama and Krishna. Sudama, even though in terrible poverty had only to use his friendship to get some money from Krishna but instead he just gave Him home-made food and walked away. But Krishna knew this and sent him whatever he needed.
But it is said that even Dharma is relative...that God uses both Dharma and Adharma to establish the greater Dharma. That is why Krishna resorted to many unfair means that was against Friendship or Dharma. Eventually, Krishna too had to go through the Karmic reactions from all of His unfair actions, like not having any descendant children of His own, getting shot by a hunter's arrow etc.
Dharmam thalai Kaakkum. (Dharma saves the head) ~ Tamil proverb.
Dharma, when protected, protects. ~ Hindu scriptures
Karna was without doubt the greatest friend anyone can hope to have. But Duryodhana, didn't value it. It's because a good friend will never expect anything, whether it is a drink at a coffee house or life. Contrast this with the friendship between Sudama and Krishna. Sudama, even though in terrible poverty had only to use his friendship to get some money from Krishna but instead he just gave Him home-made food and walked away. But Krishna knew this and sent him whatever he needed.
But it is said that even Dharma is relative...that God uses both Dharma and Adharma to establish the greater Dharma. That is why Krishna resorted to many unfair means that was against Friendship or Dharma. Eventually, Krishna too had to go through the Karmic reactions from all of His unfair actions, like not having any descendant children of His own, getting shot by a hunter's arrow etc.
Dharmam thalai Kaakkum. (Dharma saves the head) ~ Tamil proverb.
Dharma, when protected, protects. ~ Hindu scriptures
Monday, December 20, 2010
From a Distance
Hey guys...I'm thankful for the cover you have been giving me. But my time is over and I don't need any protection from the world. I'm under the care of the universe. I'm 100% well protected. So don't waste your resources, time, energy and life on me. It doesn't help me in any way and will even be an impeding factor. Cover yourselves and those whom you care about. And keep moving towards Ahimsa. And God is watching us, from a distance.
Meeting a bear, a lion and a fox
It's not often that one comes across a bear, a lion and a fox all at the same time in the wild. They are all glorious in their own way.
My medicine
The reason I decided not to reduce the medicine in the next 3 months but instead continue as it is because...first, I felt better taking it full dosage, to be frank. My doctor had never wanted to decrease the dosage in the first place but I insisted on it. I was basically worried about the side-effects of the drug. See..when one takes an allopathy drug, it kind of knocks out the major issue. But many things go into the making a drug...there is the human interference in the manufacturing process, then the doctor has to decide the right drug and dosage, the side-effects etc. I don't undervalue allopathy...they are wonderful but they can only address between 80-99% of the disease. So if one can get reduced the dosage, it's always better. But it is also true that some people have to take these prescribed drugs for the rest of their lives to live a reasonably normal life. Otherwise their system will just collapse. Does it mean that these people are condemned to an imperfect life? No. It's just like wearing a spectacles or contact lenses for the rest of the life. There will ofcourse be a little discomfiture, for example in the restricted view of the specs or the necessity to daily clean the lenses. But people can become accustomed to this lifestyle after some time. As for me, I was thinking of taking the full dosage itself because anyway it was the theoretical goal of my doctor to keep me sustained on valp forever. And I also saw that there is some basis to continuing it indefinitely because an event has happened in my life that has perhaps left an indelible impression on my brain. So, purely for the reason of not getting reactions from that reminder, it is advisable for me to take it always. And it will be some time, perhaps some 40 days for my body to get adjusted and stabilized to this dosage level. There might even come a time when I might not need this drug also if an event or events happen that may erase the past event from affecting me. I'm sure that an event or events that I will love is going to happen but I doubt if it can erase the past completely. So I would have to take the drug continually. It's fine.
Death of my father
When my father died some 9 years ago of heart attack, I could make no sense of it. I never expected it because he never showed any symptom of serious complications in his health. But he died a contented man having married off my sister to a good guy and having settled me and my mother in a good home. I never even cried. I don't know why. I don't think I was heartless but I was under depression and had no idea of what was happening. In the early morning, he had asked my mother to get me when I was still sleeping. When I went and saw him lying with eyes closed, I thought he was resting and I went to get a doctor. But I think my mother knew that he had died already. And when the doctor said that he has died, I couldn't believe it. I just did whatever was to be done. Later, my mom told me that during my sister's marriage, he had told that now that her marriage is over, he will try to find me a job. I'm sure that he is in heaven now because he was a wonderful person. He never once doubted my love for him though he was pained by my cocky nature. The other day my ex-neighbour uncle told me that God will not be keeping me alive for even a second more if I was not serving some purpose. By that logic, I can say surely that my father did everything before he left. I love you father.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
The problem with cockroaches like me
You take them out into the sunlight and they come back to darkness.
I don't know how much tax payers money is being spent on me and I really find myself thoroughly useless. It's dragging on and on and I need some rest without feeling guilty. I suppose that is not possible and so I'm trying to pull myself to work slowly.
I don't know how much tax payers money is being spent on me and I really find myself thoroughly useless. It's dragging on and on and I need some rest without feeling guilty. I suppose that is not possible and so I'm trying to pull myself to work slowly.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
An Appeal
Okay...I don't want to digress. You may or may not hate me but I always regard you as my equal and friend. I don't blame you for loathing me and some of you loathe those around me. Even my friends don't like me 100% and neither do all of you hate me 100%. Let's all forget this. I'm really sorry for being an arsehole and I request you to forgive me and those who are rallying around me. They will not hurt you unless you provoke them and I'm sure they just want to live a peaceful life as well. I don't care about whatever new world order there is and I'm sure you also don't care. Maybe this will be the ending of a life's dream or ambition for you. Maybe not. But I can tell you that I have been through such a loss 16 years back. Yes, it's Varusham 16 for me. But today I have come to believe that there exists something more than such a passionate love. For me it was a girl. For you, it may be power or intelligence or creativity or whatever. You don't have to go through 16 years to regain what you are willing to sacrifice for peace and love. If you let go, the world will return it back some time. You will also get the bonus of the love of everyone along with it. :-)
What I really want and need
As soon as the New Year 2011 begins, I wish to go back to my life I led some 16-17 years ago. What I was then is the real me and not all these things that I wear for the time being for whatever reasons. I don't want to wear some mask or avatar. I wish my friends to relieve whatever conceptions they have of me and give me a peaceful retirement back to my old self. Ofcourse as my old neighbour told me a couple of days back, it is not advisable to eat a stale idli that was meant for breakfast, at supper. I don't want and can't have the same life I had back then, the reason being that if it was really the one for me, I would not have lost it. I'm open to a new dish or life and maybe even a fresh idli or girl friend. This is the only request I make to my friends and I have absolute belief that this will stop all the madness that is there around me now.
Girls............I'm not an alpha dog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I believe that 2 things cannot be hidden or stopped always. One is truth and the other requires some resting in a room.
Okay...I might have flirted (I say 'might'). I also know some may have used the oldest trick of passion in laying the trap (Again I say 'may'). I'm really sorry if I have unintentionally built up any hype over me. But let's get some things straight.
I'm not as attractive as you think I'm. I'm not sure if any girl really knows the real me. Half the girls in the street don't even give me a second glance. Of the remaining half all except one, I don't give a second glance because they are not the one destined for me.
And this girl will also not be some alpha doggie. She will not be the most beautiful or desired woman in the world. I got this clear in my head the day I talked to my counselor. I find many women attractive and when I get one such attractive woman who also finds me attractive and we get into a relationship, what will I do when I find the next attractive one? I need some basic chemistry so that I can have some passion with her. But after that, it's just something willed by the universe.
In the old forum, a guy (don't want to name him but I like him very much) wanted to know my choice of Miss Russia. I had a difficult time to choose because I had no basis to choose it on. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
Please...I don't say this from humility. If you are a girl liking me, thanks but there is a better one who is destined just for you. If you are the one for me, love will find it's way.
Okay...I might have flirted (I say 'might'). I also know some may have used the oldest trick of passion in laying the trap (Again I say 'may'). I'm really sorry if I have unintentionally built up any hype over me. But let's get some things straight.
I'm not as attractive as you think I'm. I'm not sure if any girl really knows the real me. Half the girls in the street don't even give me a second glance. Of the remaining half all except one, I don't give a second glance because they are not the one destined for me.
And this girl will also not be some alpha doggie. She will not be the most beautiful or desired woman in the world. I got this clear in my head the day I talked to my counselor. I find many women attractive and when I get one such attractive woman who also finds me attractive and we get into a relationship, what will I do when I find the next attractive one? I need some basic chemistry so that I can have some passion with her. But after that, it's just something willed by the universe.
In the old forum, a guy (don't want to name him but I like him very much) wanted to know my choice of Miss Russia. I had a difficult time to choose because I had no basis to choose it on. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
Please...I don't say this from humility. If you are a girl liking me, thanks but there is a better one who is destined just for you. If you are the one for me, love will find it's way.
Svabhava
 |
| Svabhava |
Sva-bhava means 'Self-nature'. The recommendation given by many philosophers, spiritualists, counselors etc. to be happy is to get an answer to 'Who am I?".
There can be 3 identities that anyone takes in life.
1. Atman (Self)
2. Svabhava (Self-nature)
3. Ahamkaaram (Ego)
The Self has no qualities that our senses can perceive and is established in unity. The Self-nature has qualities that our senses can perceive and is based on unity in diversity. The Ego has qualities that our senses can perceive and is based on diversity. Objectively, each of the 3 serves some purpose. Even Ego, which in common understanding is regarded negatively serves the purpose of bringing individuality or ID without which one cannot even believe that one is existing in this world. After birth in this world, during the forward journey, the identity changes from the Self to the Self-nature to the Ego and then on the return journey from the Ego to the Self-nature to the Self.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Daddy Long Legs
The other day, as I lay on my bed and heard the slow periodic humming sound, I wondered if it was some sort of voice transmitter or maybe even a time bomb. I then rechecked my ear using a spray of hot chilli powder, mint powder, salt and cumeen seeds. The diagnosis was right. I was not having a schizophrenic episode. Anyway, I knew that whoever put it there had valid reasons and good intentions including but not limited to listening to my gracious songs. Man...some guy who is lost in the world cannot hear these sounds and even if he or she hears, he will not make an issue out of it. But when you put it near someone who is almost blind, he or she can hear it as clear as the horn of a bus. Maybe you still need to go through some apprenticeship but thanks anyway. I didn't like the sound of it and I wondered whether to wish it to go away or live with it. Earlier itself I had decided that I will not interfere with the forces around me, the benign and the evil ones. A programmer like me is supposed to program and not fight like a warrior. Also, when you interfere with someone, who is only really capable of protecting you against another who is wishing to cause harm, thinking that you alone can protect yourself, an imbalance is created wherein the protector cannot protect you easily. Also, it hurts the sentiments of the one trying to protect you as it conveys that you do not have trust in his or her capacity and goodwill. This was what I was thinking then but I was also propelled by the inertia of trying to protect myself by myself. There was also the risk of the evil hiding behind the closet on the other side that the good didn't realize. Anyway, the hint was well-taken and the humming sound stopped. I'm sorry if I interfered with your plans, my dear Daddy Long Legs.
Going to start again slowly my work.
Cannot help commenting on poli-tickles again. India should get it's priorities right regards to Afghanistan and Pakistan. India shares more of her history with Pakistan than Afghanistan. I believe that the 100% Arabic Muslims who were invading the Indian sub-continent stopped at the Hindu-Kush and those who crossed over, the ones who can be called today as Pakistanis, Bangladeshis, Indian Muslims etc. got integrated with the locals. Simply put, Afghanistan belongs to the sphere of the Arabs and Pakistan to the Indian sub-continent (okay...I know some Pakistanis will squirm to belong to any group with the word India on it but that's the price you pay for going to bed with our men and women as invaders. You can't erase your DNA.)
I don't mean to say that India dump Afghanistan and kiss Pakistan. It's just that India has to work together with Pakistan more than with trying to bring any stability in Afghanistan.
Cannot help commenting on poli-tickles again. India should get it's priorities right regards to Afghanistan and Pakistan. India shares more of her history with Pakistan than Afghanistan. I believe that the 100% Arabic Muslims who were invading the Indian sub-continent stopped at the Hindu-Kush and those who crossed over, the ones who can be called today as Pakistanis, Bangladeshis, Indian Muslims etc. got integrated with the locals. Simply put, Afghanistan belongs to the sphere of the Arabs and Pakistan to the Indian sub-continent (okay...I know some Pakistanis will squirm to belong to any group with the word India on it but that's the price you pay for going to bed with our men and women as invaders. You can't erase your DNA.)
I don't mean to say that India dump Afghanistan and kiss Pakistan. It's just that India has to work together with Pakistan more than with trying to bring any stability in Afghanistan.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
The cause for universal brotherhood or sisterhood or whatever
This world or life is designed in a funny manner...
People at the penultimate stage to the universal love are devoted preferentially,like say to a particular person or country or ideology or religion or a profession or art etc. The nobility of this stage is in the sacrifice that a person is willing to go through for the object of affection. But the tragedy of this stage is that the object of affection is the drainage of the person's life.
I will give 2 simple examples.
Take the 1st example of a normal guy who has a star as his friend, kind of like having a matinee idol or the top-sportsman as a friend. The normal guy feels good and happy around him and let's also assume that both of them are basically of good nature. When they both go out to a coffee cafe, people's attention is going to be on the star and not on the guy. This is how a guy gets drained by a star friend. If he had had another guy who was just as ordinary as he was, he would have had a better time at the coffee cafe.
Take for the 2nd example a guy who falls in love with a girl. And he proclaims that he will do anything for her, including sacrificing his life for her if the need comes. The guy initially says this without much thought because he thinks this is a noble thing to say to get her affection. But inevitably the girl, being by nature more fragile than a boy, at some point expects this not merely in words but as a real demonstration. This is how a guy gets drained by a girl. If the guy had simply gone to play with his boy friends, he would not have had to foot the bill at the coffee cafe to appear like a gentleman before a lady.
When one is in the penultimate stage of life, one finds that the person or thing or whatever that one liked was the cause of pain, a pain that had an element of pleasure, that one underwent voluntarily. But what about the person or thing or whatever that one disliked at this stage? It is still a potential source of pleasure that is untapped and the way to harness this pleasure is by being non-judgmental in regarding one as a friend and another as a foe. Then one touches the base or root or bottom of everything and one reaches the final stage. One can then look upon everyone as a friend. At this stage, there is no drainage of one's life because what one object of affection cannot give is given by another continually. There is the feeling of being supported by the buoyancy of the ocean.
People at the penultimate stage to the universal love are devoted preferentially,like say to a particular person or country or ideology or religion or a profession or art etc. The nobility of this stage is in the sacrifice that a person is willing to go through for the object of affection. But the tragedy of this stage is that the object of affection is the drainage of the person's life.
I will give 2 simple examples.
Take the 1st example of a normal guy who has a star as his friend, kind of like having a matinee idol or the top-sportsman as a friend. The normal guy feels good and happy around him and let's also assume that both of them are basically of good nature. When they both go out to a coffee cafe, people's attention is going to be on the star and not on the guy. This is how a guy gets drained by a star friend. If he had had another guy who was just as ordinary as he was, he would have had a better time at the coffee cafe.
Take for the 2nd example a guy who falls in love with a girl. And he proclaims that he will do anything for her, including sacrificing his life for her if the need comes. The guy initially says this without much thought because he thinks this is a noble thing to say to get her affection. But inevitably the girl, being by nature more fragile than a boy, at some point expects this not merely in words but as a real demonstration. This is how a guy gets drained by a girl. If the guy had simply gone to play with his boy friends, he would not have had to foot the bill at the coffee cafe to appear like a gentleman before a lady.
When one is in the penultimate stage of life, one finds that the person or thing or whatever that one liked was the cause of pain, a pain that had an element of pleasure, that one underwent voluntarily. But what about the person or thing or whatever that one disliked at this stage? It is still a potential source of pleasure that is untapped and the way to harness this pleasure is by being non-judgmental in regarding one as a friend and another as a foe. Then one touches the base or root or bottom of everything and one reaches the final stage. One can then look upon everyone as a friend. At this stage, there is no drainage of one's life because what one object of affection cannot give is given by another continually. There is the feeling of being supported by the buoyancy of the ocean.
I never really thought it was her when I saw her though the face registered in the back of my mind. Maybe I knew and I didn't want to make any false assumptions...as Travolta says in the Broken Arrow, Assumption is the mother of all f.ck ups. But as I sat down to have the snack, I noticed a Muslim going to the loo. The chat was really tasty and as I sat down, as if like rain-clouds, some 3 got around me. My only thought was enjoy the snack and get the hell out of the place. Her chudidhar really went well with her figure and I always liked girls in pony tail. For a moment I wondered if I should go near her and talk but then I thoght...what the hell...I'm too old to go through these games and I also believe that any encounter between a girl and a boy must have an element of magic in it and not be something that one tries to artificially create. So I thought...if I really will be marrying some girl, she will fall into my lap from the sky. A problem for me is that I don't even know if I will be attractive enough to any girl because I cannot go through those teenage romantics.
Anyway I'm happy at the present moment for whatever it is worth to myself and others.
Okay...maybe you want some tip from me on better living...I will screw up my brain to bring you one...I don't want to tell you something that's already there because you will anyway get to it someday without me. So I will share something from what I got experientially...let's see...okay i have got it and it is...'suppose you are an almost wise person and you come across a wonderful tip (like this), then don't be hasty and give it out to another as soon as you receive it to show that you are wise. But instead, hold it within you, even for a moment and digest or reflect or understand what it says. Then, you may tell it outside. If you don't do this, the tip you got will have passed through you without becoming a part of you.'
Okay...going to sleep.
And to you...no, not you...you...hey not you also...yes, you...don't get paranoid over me. I want to be only friends with you and if you think otherwise, I have got to kick your a.se before you accept my friendship. Experience speaks.
Anyway I'm happy at the present moment for whatever it is worth to myself and others.
Okay...maybe you want some tip from me on better living...I will screw up my brain to bring you one...I don't want to tell you something that's already there because you will anyway get to it someday without me. So I will share something from what I got experientially...let's see...okay i have got it and it is...'suppose you are an almost wise person and you come across a wonderful tip (like this), then don't be hasty and give it out to another as soon as you receive it to show that you are wise. But instead, hold it within you, even for a moment and digest or reflect or understand what it says. Then, you may tell it outside. If you don't do this, the tip you got will have passed through you without becoming a part of you.'
Okay...going to sleep.
And to you...no, not you...you...hey not you also...yes, you...don't get paranoid over me. I want to be only friends with you and if you think otherwise, I have got to kick your a.se before you accept my friendship. Experience speaks.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
I'm not for Wikileaks
Okay...I never wanted to and never want to even now to butt in these matters. But I do it now because of my past inertia, which will subside down soon. And also because I'm feeling pretty charged up...like being charged up with ahigh voltage current in my brain.
I'm not against what Wikileaks stands for but the way they are doing it is wrong. Okay...there is always this conflict between the law and order establishment and the self-appointed guardians of the society. Other than those on both the sides who are captivated by power, they both claim to be for justice. And this battle has been raging on since time immemorial and it will continue to last. However, there is a thin line which tips the scale in favour of the establishment...kind of like 51% in favour of them. This is only because it is their normal duty and not any moral high-ground of theirs.
The problem with exposing like this on a grand scale is that it is like exposing or getting exposed all of the body to the lover and not everyone enjoys this.
The argument that the world citizens have a right to information is a wrong one because this information is officially classified. While it does put a check on the establishment, it puts at risk the lives of thousands, if not millions of lives. It can even trigger a nuclear war if the different countries get to know what the other have been saying or doing behind their backs.
Why am I writing this? I don't know. I feel like I'm alone and cannot even relate to anyone or let anyone approach me.
I'm at cross-roads between being fully open and being guarded. I wish I could terminate myself but fortunately or unfortunately I have to carry on.
I never wanted all this. I don't want this. I will never want this.
This may be different but I remember the time when Archana's parents were forcing her to marry another. She said, 'Enakku yen melaye nambikka illa'. I cannot tell the same thing now. I have to have faith in myself that I'm a friend and not a fiend.
I'm not against what Wikileaks stands for but the way they are doing it is wrong. Okay...there is always this conflict between the law and order establishment and the self-appointed guardians of the society. Other than those on both the sides who are captivated by power, they both claim to be for justice. And this battle has been raging on since time immemorial and it will continue to last. However, there is a thin line which tips the scale in favour of the establishment...kind of like 51% in favour of them. This is only because it is their normal duty and not any moral high-ground of theirs.
The problem with exposing like this on a grand scale is that it is like exposing or getting exposed all of the body to the lover and not everyone enjoys this.
The argument that the world citizens have a right to information is a wrong one because this information is officially classified. While it does put a check on the establishment, it puts at risk the lives of thousands, if not millions of lives. It can even trigger a nuclear war if the different countries get to know what the other have been saying or doing behind their backs.
Why am I writing this? I don't know. I feel like I'm alone and cannot even relate to anyone or let anyone approach me.
I'm at cross-roads between being fully open and being guarded. I wish I could terminate myself but fortunately or unfortunately I have to carry on.
I never wanted all this. I don't want this. I will never want this.
This may be different but I remember the time when Archana's parents were forcing her to marry another. She said, 'Enakku yen melaye nambikka illa'. I cannot tell the same thing now. I have to have faith in myself that I'm a friend and not a fiend.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Difference between a watch dog and a musing doggy
http://www.animalmuse.com/
Watch dogs don't stare at us, atleast when we look at them. They are not trained that way. It's too heavy on their nerves to do 2 things at one time.
Musing doggies look at us, go around somewhere and come back to sneak a peek at us, thinking we are not aware of them. They are cute and funny to watch at.
Watch dogs don't stare at us, atleast when we look at them. They are not trained that way. It's too heavy on their nerves to do 2 things at one time.
Musing doggies look at us, go around somewhere and come back to sneak a peek at us, thinking we are not aware of them. They are cute and funny to watch at.
Thank you
1. Not involve myself in things not of my nature.
2. Take rest.
3. Listen to the charama sloka recordings daily for 3 weeks.
4. Continue taking the medicines toning it down every month.
This is similar to the way I used to deal with headaches. When I had an headache, I used to do 4 things...
1. Stop whatever disturbing/exciting activity that I was engaging in.
2. Take rest.
3. Apply Amrutanjan, a fast-acting pain relief balm that acts in 1 minute, kind of like first-aid.
4. Take Saridon, a tablet that gets rid of headache in 5 minutes.
Words cannot express my gratitude to my friends who tolerate me. Thank you.
Monday, December 6, 2010
???
http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/politics/nation/LeTs-annual-operations-budget-is--52-million/articleshow/7053292.cms
Does Hafiz Saeed work in the dirty mud as a farmer to contribute to whatever he is doing?
Why does he have to divert the charity money when he can use some other source?
Does Hafiz Saeed work in the dirty mud as a farmer to contribute to whatever he is doing?
Why does he have to divert the charity money when he can use some other source?
Svadharma
Sva means self. Dharma means support. The Bhagavad gita lays a lot of stress on Svadharma.
Better one's own duty, though destitute of merit, than the duty of another, well discharged. Better death in the discharge of one's own duty; the duty of another is full of danger. ~ BG 3:35
Some more on this is told in BG 18:41 - 18:49.
But today there is no official caste system in India. So defining Svadharma becomes tricky and difficult. However, if we understand Svadharma by the root of the meaning at a subtle level, it becomes clear. Every living being has to fulfill it's role in supporting the universe, whether it be working as sales man or going to buy vegetables or taking part in a marriage ceremony etc.
This is good for both the neurotic workaholics and the lazy procrastinators. The neurotics don't need to worry themselves anymore that the world is going to crumble because he or she is sleeping. The procrastinators can have a good motive to start working because they now feel important that they are contributing to the world in their own way. And since everyone is doing their jobs, there is harmony. This is ofcourse an ideal state that everyone tries to achieve.
Better one's own duty, though destitute of merit, than the duty of another, well discharged. Better death in the discharge of one's own duty; the duty of another is full of danger. ~ BG 3:35
Some more on this is told in BG 18:41 - 18:49.
But today there is no official caste system in India. So defining Svadharma becomes tricky and difficult. However, if we understand Svadharma by the root of the meaning at a subtle level, it becomes clear. Every living being has to fulfill it's role in supporting the universe, whether it be working as sales man or going to buy vegetables or taking part in a marriage ceremony etc.
This is good for both the neurotic workaholics and the lazy procrastinators. The neurotics don't need to worry themselves anymore that the world is going to crumble because he or she is sleeping. The procrastinators can have a good motive to start working because they now feel important that they are contributing to the world in their own way. And since everyone is doing their jobs, there is harmony. This is ofcourse an ideal state that everyone tries to achieve.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Beyond the bonds of Karma
There are 4 stages in the evolution of the way someone does his or her Karma i.e. Action. This may or may not correspond to the 4 stages of skill acquisition that is well-known. I haven't gone into how far it corresponds to it. While the skill acquisition is more technical, this is more spiritual but maybe they both say the same thing from different viewpoints.
1. When one starts working for a material gain, he or she makes mistakes. He or she learns from the mistakes and this takes him or her to the next stage.
2. Here, he or she starts converting the lessons learnt from the mistakes into profit. Success breeds more success because of increased confidence and there is a spiraling of profits.
The next stage is reached after a transformation in interest from material to spiritual where one starts working in the same activities, but abdicating the fruits of labour to the spiritual realms and taking whatever is offered back.
3. The failures don't bother because no effort is wasted. The spiritual forces or angels carry over the implementation like how the wind carries over a scent to the intended place.
4. The successes no more engages and binds the individual like golden hand-cuffs to temporary gains but merges his or her consciousness with the eternal cosmic bliss.
1. When one starts working for a material gain, he or she makes mistakes. He or she learns from the mistakes and this takes him or her to the next stage.
2. Here, he or she starts converting the lessons learnt from the mistakes into profit. Success breeds more success because of increased confidence and there is a spiraling of profits.
The next stage is reached after a transformation in interest from material to spiritual where one starts working in the same activities, but abdicating the fruits of labour to the spiritual realms and taking whatever is offered back.
3. The failures don't bother because no effort is wasted. The spiritual forces or angels carry over the implementation like how the wind carries over a scent to the intended place.
4. The successes no more engages and binds the individual like golden hand-cuffs to temporary gains but merges his or her consciousness with the eternal cosmic bliss.
Statutory Warning
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| Valper |
The Genie
A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she was going to receive the usual three wishes.
The Genie said, "Nope ... due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So ... what'll it be?"
The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."
The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Gadzooks, lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good, but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish."
The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, is good in bed and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That's what I wish for ... a good mate."
The Genie let out a long sigh and said, "Let me see that fucking map!"
The Genie said, "Nope ... due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So ... what'll it be?"
The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."
The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Gadzooks, lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good, but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish."
The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, is good in bed and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That's what I wish for ... a good mate."
The Genie let out a long sigh and said, "Let me see that fucking map!"
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Today, I got my medicine dosage of Valp reduced by half in the morning.
I got a nasty email from the online job working site saying I had used 3rd party images and that they might terminate my account. I haven't gone through it fully but anyway I have transferred whatever I earned there. It's funny when someone addresses you 'Dear Arvind' all along and suddenly changes it to plain 'Arvind'. My ex gf did the same thing in the last letter that she wrote to me and I resent it!!! But how the devil did the site come to know that I used a 3rd party image when I got it neatly blended using 2 other images, unless ofcourse he or she was snooping on me. It was not even a vector image that I had attached. I will be going through the whole thing with them. I might retaliate with a US lawsuit...just for the kicks of it. And I can wait all eternity. On the other hand, I may just shift over to another job site or take a regular job. Sabotage doesn't work always, does it? Or maybe I couldn't be 'supported' after the leaks. I can get another job but can one get another life? I still believe addressing the issue of a Tsunami is more important than the leaks.
Don't waste your life on me.
I got a nasty email from the online job working site saying I had used 3rd party images and that they might terminate my account. I haven't gone through it fully but anyway I have transferred whatever I earned there. It's funny when someone addresses you 'Dear Arvind' all along and suddenly changes it to plain 'Arvind'. My ex gf did the same thing in the last letter that she wrote to me and I resent it!!! But how the devil did the site come to know that I used a 3rd party image when I got it neatly blended using 2 other images, unless ofcourse he or she was snooping on me. It was not even a vector image that I had attached. I will be going through the whole thing with them. I might retaliate with a US lawsuit...just for the kicks of it. And I can wait all eternity. On the other hand, I may just shift over to another job site or take a regular job. Sabotage doesn't work always, does it? Or maybe I couldn't be 'supported' after the leaks. I can get another job but can one get another life? I still believe addressing the issue of a Tsunami is more important than the leaks.
Don't waste your life on me.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Professionally yours
A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there.
She asked if there was something which she could help the gentleman with.
The man said that it was something that he would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist.
The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with the highest level of professionalism.
The man agreed and began by saying, "This is tough for me to discuss, but I have a permanent erection. It causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. So I was wondering what you could give me for it?"
The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I’ll go talk to my sister."
When she returned, she said, "We discussed it at length and the absolute best we can do is, 1/3 ownership in the store, a company car, and $3000 a month living expenses.
She asked if there was something which she could help the gentleman with.
The man said that it was something that he would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist.
The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with the highest level of professionalism.
The man agreed and began by saying, "This is tough for me to discuss, but I have a permanent erection. It causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. So I was wondering what you could give me for it?"
The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I’ll go talk to my sister."
When she returned, she said, "We discussed it at length and the absolute best we can do is, 1/3 ownership in the store, a company car, and $3000 a month living expenses.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
The height of inefficiency by the Indian administration
http://www.hindu.com/2010/11/26/stories/2010112659540100.htm
Why does India even allow these guys to speak out? It's even more absurd to think that this guy is able to come out to another part of India when outsiders are not getting inside Kashmir.
Kashmir problem can be solved a lot easily by breaking the backbone of these greedy guys than on angry unemployed youth wanting a cause to direct their energy in. Restrict the guys movement, stop their electricity, disconnect their cell-phones, scare them a bit so they know what terror means (like the shake up that he got in this news...lol), pull up their friends and relatives etc. This must not be done from hatred. Someone who flares up problems must be made to realize that there is a penalty for his trouble-making activities. He or she gets the option to desist from fighting for a wrong cause and lose the simple joy of living. If he or she is sane, as he or she is usually is unless there is a damage coming from a bodily brain defect, he or she will pick it up. Okay..I guess the IB is already doing this with Geelani andsome others but maybe they need some training from the Russians on this. Unlike the Russians, our problem is critical.
Our Prime Minister is a great and good man...one of the best in the world. But like everyone, he has faults. One fault is that he has to listen to Sonia Gandhi, who is paving the way for her son Rahul to take over the mantle in the near future from him. Another fault is that he is not strong like Advani when it comes to dealing with terrorists. I'm no fan of his Hindutva but I know that he can be decisive. The only thing Indians can hope from him is that, if he cannot be strong enough, atleast he lets those who are strong to do the necessary job.
Oh...I speak from experience of having to face those similar discomforts. Ha ha ha
Why does India even allow these guys to speak out? It's even more absurd to think that this guy is able to come out to another part of India when outsiders are not getting inside Kashmir.
Kashmir problem can be solved a lot easily by breaking the backbone of these greedy guys than on angry unemployed youth wanting a cause to direct their energy in. Restrict the guys movement, stop their electricity, disconnect their cell-phones, scare them a bit so they know what terror means (like the shake up that he got in this news...lol), pull up their friends and relatives etc. This must not be done from hatred. Someone who flares up problems must be made to realize that there is a penalty for his trouble-making activities. He or she gets the option to desist from fighting for a wrong cause and lose the simple joy of living. If he or she is sane, as he or she is usually is unless there is a damage coming from a bodily brain defect, he or she will pick it up. Okay..I guess the IB is already doing this with Geelani andsome others but maybe they need some training from the Russians on this. Unlike the Russians, our problem is critical.
Our Prime Minister is a great and good man...one of the best in the world. But like everyone, he has faults. One fault is that he has to listen to Sonia Gandhi, who is paving the way for her son Rahul to take over the mantle in the near future from him. Another fault is that he is not strong like Advani when it comes to dealing with terrorists. I'm no fan of his Hindutva but I know that he can be decisive. The only thing Indians can hope from him is that, if he cannot be strong enough, atleast he lets those who are strong to do the necessary job.
Oh...I speak from experience of having to face those similar discomforts. Ha ha ha
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
It's a man's world but there are still some gentlemen
Wanna date me, huh?
Let me check my purse, Mam...
Let me check my purse, Mam...
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After you, Mam.
How sweet of you...
How sweet of you...
God's Equation - Einstein, Relativity and the Expanding Universe
I went through an interesting link that I saw from a friend on Facebook. The link is below...
http://www.scribd.com/doc/24966310/God-s-Equation-Einstein-Relativity-and-the-Expanding-Universe
I was interested in seeing how it matched my own understanding of reality, which is based on some Hindu concepts. Most of it went tangent to my brain but at one point I came across this paragraph below which looked odd.
Kindly excuse my impertinence. I'm not an hotshot in physics. Whatever interest I have in physics came from studying for IIT, in which I failed twice. I had once wanted to be a great scientist but that aspiration only removed me far from living a 'wet' life. But whatever knowledge that became unavailable from my inability to go do a PhD in US, I got it as a byproduct when I studied Hindu scriptures like the Bhagavad Gita, Upanishads etc. I certainly don't have the intelligence of an IITian but I'm smart in a few things.
The first thing that any physicist must do is take up 'wet' physics and not 'dry' physics, especially in this topic. A wet physicist will merge himself or herself in the universe. A dry physicist is removed from the universe he or she is observing. The implication of this that the Atma is the Atom. If you do not agree with the previous premise, you will not agree with what I post next...
This is the Hindu version of what Einstein has suggested...
http://www.swamij.com/centripetal-centrifugal.htm
Now, the only odd thing that I found in what Einstein concluded is that he is suggesting a shrinking of the circle from gravity. Whereas in the Hindu model, the circle is constant because there is a balance of centripetal and centrifugal force. This may be because he is practising 'dry' physics (in this case) by treating the object as without an initiative of it's own but under the influence of gravity. (Clue: how did the object get to be with the revolving inertia??? if only gravity was there, every object will get sucked into nothingness i.e. nihilism and there will not be any universe to have this wonderful blog post :-()
http://www.scribd.com/doc/24966310/God-s-Equation-Einstein-Relativity-and-the-Expanding-Universe
I was interested in seeing how it matched my own understanding of reality, which is based on some Hindu concepts. Most of it went tangent to my brain but at one point I came across this paragraph below which looked odd.
Einstein followed the line of reasoning that began with the "happiest thought" of his life. Still at the Swiss patent office, he conducted one of his famous thought-experiments. Einstein imagined a circle spinning in space. The center of the circle did not move, but its circumference was moving quickly in a circular direction. Einstein compared what happens in several reference frames, a standard tool he had used in developing the special theory of relativity. He concluded, using his special relativity, that the boundary of the disk contracted as it spun. There was a force acting on the circle at the boundary—the centrifugal force—and its action was analogous to that of a gravitational force. But the same contraction that affected the outer circle left the diameter unchanged. Thus, Einstein concluded, in a way that surprised even him, the ratio of the circle to the diameter was no longer pi. He deduced that in the presence of a gravitational force (or field), the geometry of space is non- Euclidean.
Kindly excuse my impertinence. I'm not an hotshot in physics. Whatever interest I have in physics came from studying for IIT, in which I failed twice. I had once wanted to be a great scientist but that aspiration only removed me far from living a 'wet' life. But whatever knowledge that became unavailable from my inability to go do a PhD in US, I got it as a byproduct when I studied Hindu scriptures like the Bhagavad Gita, Upanishads etc. I certainly don't have the intelligence of an IITian but I'm smart in a few things.
The first thing that any physicist must do is take up 'wet' physics and not 'dry' physics, especially in this topic. A wet physicist will merge himself or herself in the universe. A dry physicist is removed from the universe he or she is observing. The implication of this that the Atma is the Atom. If you do not agree with the previous premise, you will not agree with what I post next...
This is the Hindu version of what Einstein has suggested...
http://www.swamij.com/centripetal-centrifugal.htm
Now, the only odd thing that I found in what Einstein concluded is that he is suggesting a shrinking of the circle from gravity. Whereas in the Hindu model, the circle is constant because there is a balance of centripetal and centrifugal force. This may be because he is practising 'dry' physics (in this case) by treating the object as without an initiative of it's own but under the influence of gravity. (Clue: how did the object get to be with the revolving inertia??? if only gravity was there, every object will get sucked into nothingness i.e. nihilism and there will not be any universe to have this wonderful blog post :-()
Monday, November 22, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
The role of a Guru
I read something like this in one of the Upanishads...don't know which one. It had something to tell on the role of a Guru....
When a person is exiled from a city by being blind-folded and taken to the middle of the forest and left there, the Guru unties the fold and points the direction of the city. The person then asks everyone on the way for directions and eventually comes back to the city.
This is the role that my Guru also played. Ofcourse I did most of the work, the 99% of it and some times we agreed to disagree. A Guru is himself on the journey and as the gap between the Guru and the disciple decreases, the relationship turns into that of 2 pilgrims exchanging notes.
When a person is exiled from a city by being blind-folded and taken to the middle of the forest and left there, the Guru unties the fold and points the direction of the city. The person then asks everyone on the way for directions and eventually comes back to the city.
This is the role that my Guru also played. Ofcourse I did most of the work, the 99% of it and some times we agreed to disagree. A Guru is himself on the journey and as the gap between the Guru and the disciple decreases, the relationship turns into that of 2 pilgrims exchanging notes.
Going to spend a hour a day on developing a website rather than on the novel
I'm not going to write professionally. Instead I'm planning to develop a website on BEtter Living, a website that focuses on making life better. I hope to get some money from it in the form of ad clicks or banner ad or maybe even a donate button if it turns out to be good. The website will be a way where I can discover life more as well as share whatever I know with others.
Maybe I will finish the novel some time in my life as a hobby. Better yet, I want to live my life as a novel.
That makes my work life...1 hour of non-profit volunteering + 4 hours of professional work + 1 hour of magazine-editorship.
Today I have worked for 4 hours this way...not bad.
Okay...the website is at (in a poor shape now) http://aafhey6w.facebook.joyent.us/betterliving/
Maybe I will finish the novel some time in my life as a hobby. Better yet, I want to live my life as a novel.
That makes my work life...1 hour of non-profit volunteering + 4 hours of professional work + 1 hour of magazine-editorship.
Today I have worked for 4 hours this way...not bad.
Okay...the website is at (in a poor shape now) http://aafhey6w.facebook.joyent.us/betterliving/
Happy-go-lucky guy?
I was once like this. I hope he doesn't get carried away by the rat race and lose what he is basically.
We would give anything for what we have. ~ Tony Hoagland
Saturday, November 20, 2010
I'm entitled to 20% of Tom-Foolery
Now that I have given the link to this blog to others, I'm becoming more conscious of what I write.
So to those who happen to read my blog, I expect you to take only 20% of my posts seriously (I'm not saying which 20%...that is my alibi...hehehe)
Pareto Principle
Google's also has a 20%
As a sample, decide for yourself...
1. "It's better to like beautiful girls than to be gay" -- Silvio Berlusconi, Italian Prime Minister, speaking about his latest scandal, in which a teenage girl told of the "bunga bunga" orgies she witnessed at his home when she was 17.
2. "I had a sickening feeling every time I thought about it. I still do." -- George W. Bush, writing in his new memoir, Decision Point, that he still feels bad no weapons of mass destruction were found in Iraq.
3. For NASA, space is still a high priority... -- Dan Quayle
4. I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky… -- Bill Clinton
5. China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese… -- Charles De Gaulle
6. General…I can't name TheGeneral… -- George W Bush, asked to name President of Pakistan
7. And what do you do? -- Queen Elizabeth II, to four British guitar greats, Eric Clapton, Jimmy Page, Jeff Beck and Brian May, at reception for British music industry at Buckingham Palace March 2005
8. A woman knows the face of the man she loves like a sailor knows the open sea. -- Horore de Balzac
9. A hard man is good to find. -- Mae West
10. A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him. -- Mae West
So to those who happen to read my blog, I expect you to take only 20% of my posts seriously (I'm not saying which 20%...that is my alibi...hehehe)
Pareto Principle
Google's also has a 20%
As a sample, decide for yourself...
1. "It's better to like beautiful girls than to be gay" -- Silvio Berlusconi, Italian Prime Minister, speaking about his latest scandal, in which a teenage girl told of the "bunga bunga" orgies she witnessed at his home when she was 17.
2. "I had a sickening feeling every time I thought about it. I still do." -- George W. Bush, writing in his new memoir, Decision Point, that he still feels bad no weapons of mass destruction were found in Iraq.
3. For NASA, space is still a high priority... -- Dan Quayle
4. I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky… -- Bill Clinton
5. China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese… -- Charles De Gaulle
6. General…I can't name TheGeneral… -- George W Bush, asked to name President of Pakistan
7. And what do you do? -- Queen Elizabeth II, to four British guitar greats, Eric Clapton, Jimmy Page, Jeff Beck and Brian May, at reception for British music industry at Buckingham Palace March 2005
8. A woman knows the face of the man she loves like a sailor knows the open sea. -- Horore de Balzac
9. A hard man is good to find. -- Mae West
10. A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him. -- Mae West
Friday, November 19, 2010
My sister and me
While we were talking yesterday, my sister was asking what my cousin was doing, and I think in a slip of tongue, she asked "avanum vudhavakaraya irukkana?" i.e "Is he also still useless?".
Myself and my sister, we don't get along. I have thrown coffee at her face while she had even called police to complain about it (american style...LOL)
It's a matter of sibling rivalry that has over time grown out of proportions and it has turned out very ugly, we both hitting each other behind the belt.
I like her kid though because I find him like my father and because a kid is a kid.
We both don't even talk to each other straight in the face. It's just a difference in the way we perceive things. Today she asked me why I was sitting dull and I made a sign not to interfere in my business. She is a nice person just like everyone else is. We stay clear of each other 99% of the times. In the remaining 1% time, I just let it pass whatever she says and she knows that if she needles me beyond a point, I will not hesitate to slit her throat.
She has no idea of how life is going to be in the future. She thinks that being a good professional in a multinational company will ensure a good life. For 8 years after her marriage, she didn't have a kid. I asked her to do the Sathya-Narayana Pooja because it is supposed to bless one with a baby and she immediately got a baby. Now, I'm not taking credit from them on giving birth to the baby because I know that they both went through a lot before, during and after the delivery. Not having a baby kept her humble though she had the tendency to think herself too successful. Now that she has got a beautiful baby, she is getting carried away again.
Her husband is jobless in the US for 5 months now while I'm daily making progress on the job-front, even though it is at a snail's pace. They don't seem to realize that they are heading towards hell while I'm getting out of it. Neither do I feel good nor bad that this is what is going to happen. It's everyone's Karma. I agree that she is a good worker but she doesn't have any wisdom, any devotion, any meditative practice to calm herself down or surrendering herself to God. So what's she got is 20%. But since she is atleast a skillful and honest worker, she will eventually get salvation.
She thinks that I'm materially poor and I think she is spiritually poor. This is the difference in perspective that creates friction between us.
It's always important to be at ease with the big picture. After-all, she is my father's and mother's daughter and in the end, I'm no better or worse than her. But I cannot accept her unless she appreciates who I'm. But that's not going to happen for a very long time and so we go in opposite directions.
Myself and my sister, we don't get along. I have thrown coffee at her face while she had even called police to complain about it (american style...LOL)
It's a matter of sibling rivalry that has over time grown out of proportions and it has turned out very ugly, we both hitting each other behind the belt.
I like her kid though because I find him like my father and because a kid is a kid.
We both don't even talk to each other straight in the face. It's just a difference in the way we perceive things. Today she asked me why I was sitting dull and I made a sign not to interfere in my business. She is a nice person just like everyone else is. We stay clear of each other 99% of the times. In the remaining 1% time, I just let it pass whatever she says and she knows that if she needles me beyond a point, I will not hesitate to slit her throat.
She has no idea of how life is going to be in the future. She thinks that being a good professional in a multinational company will ensure a good life. For 8 years after her marriage, she didn't have a kid. I asked her to do the Sathya-Narayana Pooja because it is supposed to bless one with a baby and she immediately got a baby. Now, I'm not taking credit from them on giving birth to the baby because I know that they both went through a lot before, during and after the delivery. Not having a baby kept her humble though she had the tendency to think herself too successful. Now that she has got a beautiful baby, she is getting carried away again.
Her husband is jobless in the US for 5 months now while I'm daily making progress on the job-front, even though it is at a snail's pace. They don't seem to realize that they are heading towards hell while I'm getting out of it. Neither do I feel good nor bad that this is what is going to happen. It's everyone's Karma. I agree that she is a good worker but she doesn't have any wisdom, any devotion, any meditative practice to calm herself down or surrendering herself to God. So what's she got is 20%. But since she is atleast a skillful and honest worker, she will eventually get salvation.
She thinks that I'm materially poor and I think she is spiritually poor. This is the difference in perspective that creates friction between us.
It's always important to be at ease with the big picture. After-all, she is my father's and mother's daughter and in the end, I'm no better or worse than her. But I cannot accept her unless she appreciates who I'm. But that's not going to happen for a very long time and so we go in opposite directions.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Harnessing Karma
Every action leaves a tangible result and a tendency to repeat it. So, even a small positive action is enough to shift from the vicious cycle to the virtuous cycle.
Wrong messages
http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5jFKAVM8BeOqhxL1nyx51HrJhK2Mw?docId=CNG.34d413ddaf37cdcea164fb9b026494b1.b41
I think it's a wrong message that Russia is sending to the world by saying 'no' to the Nobel Peace prize nomination. While I understand that the Norwegians, Lilliputians in the world arena, are using this prize as a political tool with the backing of the west, Russia could have done better by just abstaining or not responding. The ambassador could have told the committee...I couldn't get the flight ticket or I lost the flight ticket or I carry a STD. But what did the poor prize winner do to lose being recognized for his life-long struggle under a mammoth regime? Ofcourse, the Nobel committee gave the prize to Obama before he did anything and never gave the prize to Gandhi when he was the most peaceful worker of the last century. I'm not against the Chinese government because it's none of my business and it is up to them to create their own society just like how the Afghans or Americans or Indians want their own society. It is also indecent and against sensibility to try to impose one model of governance over another because people are different everywhere. Hindus or Americans cannot judge Muslims poorly on stoning because they themselves once had the practice of sati and witch burning. Outsiders can only raise the awareness without a holier than thou attitude and it is upto insiders if they want a change.
PS: I'm a Lilliputuian myself and I remain one.
I think it's a wrong message that Russia is sending to the world by saying 'no' to the Nobel Peace prize nomination. While I understand that the Norwegians, Lilliputians in the world arena, are using this prize as a political tool with the backing of the west, Russia could have done better by just abstaining or not responding. The ambassador could have told the committee...I couldn't get the flight ticket or I lost the flight ticket or I carry a STD. But what did the poor prize winner do to lose being recognized for his life-long struggle under a mammoth regime? Ofcourse, the Nobel committee gave the prize to Obama before he did anything and never gave the prize to Gandhi when he was the most peaceful worker of the last century. I'm not against the Chinese government because it's none of my business and it is up to them to create their own society just like how the Afghans or Americans or Indians want their own society. It is also indecent and against sensibility to try to impose one model of governance over another because people are different everywhere. Hindus or Americans cannot judge Muslims poorly on stoning because they themselves once had the practice of sati and witch burning. Outsiders can only raise the awareness without a holier than thou attitude and it is upto insiders if they want a change.
PS: I'm a Lilliputuian myself and I remain one.
Read this nice quote at the grocery shop today
"Do not quit.
If you haven't quit, you haven't failed.
Success is just the initiative after the failure."
If you haven't quit, you haven't failed.
Success is just the initiative after the failure."
Memory
Jokes aside, it is also a reminder of the fragile memory that people have. In this world, to be attached to anyone is asking for trouble. Anyway, in the days ahead, I have a companion in Saashvath, though he is not going to remember any of these times when he has grown up.
BG18:66
Abandoning all duties, come unto Me alone for shelter; sorrow not, I will liberate thee from all sins.
It's not a privilege, it's a bloody order
Thinking on Me, thou shalt overcome all obstacles by My grace; but if from egoism thou wilt not listen, (to my advice), thou shalt be destroyed utterly.
Entrenched in egoism, thou thinkest: 'I will not fight'; to no purpose (is) thy determination; nature will constrain thee.
O son of Kunti!, bound by thine own duty, born of thine own nature, that which from delusion thou desirest not to do, even that helplessly thou shalt perform.
Entrenched in egoism, thou thinkest: 'I will not fight'; to no purpose (is) thy determination; nature will constrain thee.
O son of Kunti!, bound by thine own duty, born of thine own nature, that which from delusion thou desirest not to do, even that helplessly thou shalt perform.
3 factors deciding the success of a team
1. The shoal behaviour where each member communicates and understands messages because of the similarities.
2. The command and control structure that is necessary for execution of decisions.
3. The growth of every member in the rank hierarchy over time so as to experience equal oportunities and shared responsibilities.
If even one of the above is not accounted for, the harmony of the team gets affected. For example, as to 1, a soccer player cannot play without passing. As to 2, only the captain can decide who shoots during the final penalty shoot-out. As to 3, a captain has to resign from the team when he becomes old and maybe then he can take-up the position of a coach.
This way, each can practice their sva-dharma (their own responsibilities) and then only it can be said that "Team Work, Works."
2. The command and control structure that is necessary for execution of decisions.
3. The growth of every member in the rank hierarchy over time so as to experience equal oportunities and shared responsibilities.
If even one of the above is not accounted for, the harmony of the team gets affected. For example, as to 1, a soccer player cannot play without passing. As to 2, only the captain can decide who shoots during the final penalty shoot-out. As to 3, a captain has to resign from the team when he becomes old and maybe then he can take-up the position of a coach.
This way, each can practice their sva-dharma (their own responsibilities) and then only it can be said that "Team Work, Works."
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
A hottie? A loser?
Some people think too much of me while there are also some who think I'm a loser. There is some truth in both. I can understand Michael Jackson, looking like a weirdo and after having put on a macho image in his songs, telling in an interview in a feminine voice, "I also bleed like everyone else when I get cut."
This is something that is true everywhere...the commons think the stars are privileged while the stars think the commons are happy and to add to this mess, the commons become the stars over time and vice versa.
Really...when Archana accepted my proposal and I had a good career, I had nothing else to wish for. But even at that time, I thought I lacked something. I did lack something though it was not what I went after. I went after, although unconsciously, greatness. Life gave me the greatest blow and took everything that I cherished away from me, except for the survival kit. Today, I understand that I had to undergo all that to get a broader definition of love.
I think I may have broken some hearts but this has nothing to do with anything with me. People try one another till they find the right one. I get rejected all the time by girls whom I feel attracted to strongly. But sometimes, it's just that circumstances cannot develop it any further and it fizzles out.
I may look like a romantic who can make a girl quiver under his gaze. But, actually I'm more like a paper tiger when it comes to romance. Even with Archana, I became bold only after she accepted me.
I have spurned some advances from girls recently. Like a recent friend of mine 'Ramya' on facebook. She seemed to be my kind of girl. Maybe I know who she is. Whatever, I'm actually a bit tired of romantic games. With Archana, I have played one too many...I indicate I'm interested in her...she indicates she isn't interested...I ask her if it's because I'm not good enough...she says that's not the reason...I open up more...she declines more...I talk casually to make her feel comfortable...she says friendship is nice...I become informal so she doesn't think love is a sin...she begins to like it but will not admit it...then I say 'goodbye', let's be friends always...she blushes and says, 'no, wait', but still doesn't say 'I love you'...I assume she loves me like in the movies and the books...she becomes excited that she is the object of attention...well...some of these things I have written in my novel...in the end, it's an one-up-manship game...who can prolong hiding their need for the other until the other comes craving on the knees. Forget it. I'm too tired of the games a girl plays. Maybe I'm not even interested in any girl...I don't know. I might not even get married. I have my own spiritual practice to occupy myself and anyway, I'm too old for silly romantic games. I don't know if I can even see a girl from romantic eyes because my perception of others has changed.
Things are too complicated for me. I'm maintaining my brain from going crazy like maintaining a nuclear reactor from exploding. Far more than myself, it is the love of the people who are behind me that is the stabilizing factor.
This is something that is true everywhere...the commons think the stars are privileged while the stars think the commons are happy and to add to this mess, the commons become the stars over time and vice versa.
Really...when Archana accepted my proposal and I had a good career, I had nothing else to wish for. But even at that time, I thought I lacked something. I did lack something though it was not what I went after. I went after, although unconsciously, greatness. Life gave me the greatest blow and took everything that I cherished away from me, except for the survival kit. Today, I understand that I had to undergo all that to get a broader definition of love.
I think I may have broken some hearts but this has nothing to do with anything with me. People try one another till they find the right one. I get rejected all the time by girls whom I feel attracted to strongly. But sometimes, it's just that circumstances cannot develop it any further and it fizzles out.
I may look like a romantic who can make a girl quiver under his gaze. But, actually I'm more like a paper tiger when it comes to romance. Even with Archana, I became bold only after she accepted me.
I have spurned some advances from girls recently. Like a recent friend of mine 'Ramya' on facebook. She seemed to be my kind of girl. Maybe I know who she is. Whatever, I'm actually a bit tired of romantic games. With Archana, I have played one too many...I indicate I'm interested in her...she indicates she isn't interested...I ask her if it's because I'm not good enough...she says that's not the reason...I open up more...she declines more...I talk casually to make her feel comfortable...she says friendship is nice...I become informal so she doesn't think love is a sin...she begins to like it but will not admit it...then I say 'goodbye', let's be friends always...she blushes and says, 'no, wait', but still doesn't say 'I love you'...I assume she loves me like in the movies and the books...she becomes excited that she is the object of attention...well...some of these things I have written in my novel...in the end, it's an one-up-manship game...who can prolong hiding their need for the other until the other comes craving on the knees. Forget it. I'm too tired of the games a girl plays. Maybe I'm not even interested in any girl...I don't know. I might not even get married. I have my own spiritual practice to occupy myself and anyway, I'm too old for silly romantic games. I don't know if I can even see a girl from romantic eyes because my perception of others has changed.
Things are too complicated for me. I'm maintaining my brain from going crazy like maintaining a nuclear reactor from exploding. Far more than myself, it is the love of the people who are behind me that is the stabilizing factor.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Sync. Out of Range?
Endhiran - The Robo
Unlike the Superstar, I'm...
2.60GHz of IQ
1.96GB of Ram
80GB of Hard-facts
100.0MBPS of Yogic-flying
If people consider themselves as the flute in the hands of Krishna instead of being the player, beautiful songs can flow like this one by A R Rahman.
Therefore do thou arise and obtain fame.
Conquer the enemies and enjoy the unrivalled dominion.
By Myself have they been already overcome;
Be thou a mere instrument, O ambidextrous one.
~ Bhagavad Gita 11:33
Long-wave, deep, reverberating songs of whales
http://www.cafeweltgeist.org/shoal/
Futurist Heiner Benking addresses how global online communication can become truly profound, truly global. Not short-wave superficial twitterings. Not a beeping sonar trying to detect new scenarios as they start to unfold. More like the long-wave, deep, reverberating songs of whales that can reach from pole to pole. Like the whales, humans must begin to use every means of communication that will enable large-scale orientation for our common journey ahead.
Futurist Heiner Benking addresses how global online communication can become truly profound, truly global. Not short-wave superficial twitterings. Not a beeping sonar trying to detect new scenarios as they start to unfold. More like the long-wave, deep, reverberating songs of whales that can reach from pole to pole. Like the whales, humans must begin to use every means of communication that will enable large-scale orientation for our common journey ahead.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Screwball Comedy - Part 2
'Just as the same sky appears as white, blue etc. so, the same Atman is seen as many by the deluded'
'Everything that we see is Acyuta, there is nothing besides Him. He is I, He is you. He, the Atman, is all this; so, free yourself from the delusion of differences. The king, being thus instructed, opened his eyes to truth and abandoned the notion of distinct existence.'
[Yama says to his servants]: All this and myself are Vasudeva. He is the only One, the supreme Purusa and the supreme Ruler. Leave those whose minds are firm in the Infinite enshrined in their hearts, and keep at a distance from them.
'O gods! all that the goddess Earth has been saying is true; I, Siva, you and all this are Narayana; but the impersonations of His power are for ever; and excess or diminuation is indicated by the dominance of the strong and the depression of the weak.'
(Brahma says to Siva): 'O Soul of the universe, you and I are, as the cause of this world, one and the same; for the welfare of the world, we are separate in respect of our functions.'
'He, who has obtained your protection, has also obtained mine; you will, O Samkara! see yourself in no way different from me. Men whose minds are deluded by nescience (avidya) see distinctinctions such as 'I, he, thou, and this world with gods, titans and men.'
Mahesvara says in the Bhavisyottara-purana: 'Those who regard me or Brahma as different from Visnu are of crooked minds, fools, and are tortured in the hells below. Those foolish and wicked men that regard me, Hari, and Brahma as different, are guilty of a sin equal to Brahman murder.'
Again on the kailasa yatra of the Harivamsa, Mahesvara says: 'You are the beginning, the middle and the end of all beings; the universe sprang from you and is absorbed in you; I am you, the all-pervading. You are myself, O Janaradana! O Lord of the world! there is no difference between us, either in words denoting us or in their imports. Those glorious names of Govinda that are popular in the world are my names, too; he who hates you hates me; there is not a shadow of doubt (about this). I am the Lord of beings only as an emanation of you; there is nothing devoid of you, O Lord! Whatever is, was, or will be, is yourself, O Lord of the universe! There is nothing without you, O Lord of the lords!'
'The firmament with the sun, moon, and stars, the welkin, the points of the compass, the earth and the ocean are all held and supported by the prowess of the high-souled Vasudeva.'
''Visnu, the one great Being, pervades innumerable individual beings and the three worlds; and being the Self and enjoyer of all, and undecaying, He experiences [everything].'
'Everything that we see is Acyuta, there is nothing besides Him. He is I, He is you. He, the Atman, is all this; so, free yourself from the delusion of differences. The king, being thus instructed, opened his eyes to truth and abandoned the notion of distinct existence.'
[Yama says to his servants]: All this and myself are Vasudeva. He is the only One, the supreme Purusa and the supreme Ruler. Leave those whose minds are firm in the Infinite enshrined in their hearts, and keep at a distance from them.
'O gods! all that the goddess Earth has been saying is true; I, Siva, you and all this are Narayana; but the impersonations of His power are for ever; and excess or diminuation is indicated by the dominance of the strong and the depression of the weak.'
(Brahma says to Siva): 'O Soul of the universe, you and I are, as the cause of this world, one and the same; for the welfare of the world, we are separate in respect of our functions.'
'He, who has obtained your protection, has also obtained mine; you will, O Samkara! see yourself in no way different from me. Men whose minds are deluded by nescience (avidya) see distinctinctions such as 'I, he, thou, and this world with gods, titans and men.'
Mahesvara says in the Bhavisyottara-purana: 'Those who regard me or Brahma as different from Visnu are of crooked minds, fools, and are tortured in the hells below. Those foolish and wicked men that regard me, Hari, and Brahma as different, are guilty of a sin equal to Brahman murder.'
Again on the kailasa yatra of the Harivamsa, Mahesvara says: 'You are the beginning, the middle and the end of all beings; the universe sprang from you and is absorbed in you; I am you, the all-pervading. You are myself, O Janaradana! O Lord of the world! there is no difference between us, either in words denoting us or in their imports. Those glorious names of Govinda that are popular in the world are my names, too; he who hates you hates me; there is not a shadow of doubt (about this). I am the Lord of beings only as an emanation of you; there is nothing devoid of you, O Lord! Whatever is, was, or will be, is yourself, O Lord of the universe! There is nothing without you, O Lord of the lords!'
'The firmament with the sun, moon, and stars, the welkin, the points of the compass, the earth and the ocean are all held and supported by the prowess of the high-souled Vasudeva.'
''Visnu, the one great Being, pervades innumerable individual beings and the three worlds; and being the Self and enjoyer of all, and undecaying, He experiences [everything].'
Why the switch from guerrilla warfare to terrorist suicide strikes will not work
These bombings will not affect the enemy combat soldiers because they are aware of suicide bombers and are adequately defended. What these bombings will do is take out many non-combatant lives in the form of collateral damage ('innocent' lives lost but again it's their past karma that places them at a place where a suicide bomber blows himself or herself). So, there is a constant depreciation to zero in the numbers of those practicing suicide bombing culture.
“From fear of Him the wind blows; from fear of Him the sun rises; from fear of Him Agni and Indra and Death, the fifth, run." ~ Katha Upanishad
“From fear of Him the wind blows; from fear of Him the sun rises; from fear of Him Agni and Indra and Death, the fifth, run." ~ Katha Upanishad
It's a man's thing
Why don't most Hollywood men have moustaches?
Hollywood Men
I say...if you have it, flaunt it.
Moustached Men
Hollywood Men
I say...if you have it, flaunt it.
Moustached Men
My cousin likes George Cloony and I like Karthik. But he is more handsome than me and I need some reinforcement in the form of a moustache. ;-)
Pamela Anderson writes to PM - halt leather trade
http://movies.ndtv.com/movie_story.aspx?Section=Movies&ID=ENTEN20100160160&subcatg=MOVIESINDIA&keyword=television&nid=66614
How about some trading of Silicone Breast Implants?
How about some trading of Silicone Breast Implants?
Yoga and Sharanagathi
In Yoga, the devotee holds onto God like how the baby monkey holds onto it's mother. Don't feel so bad if you like Yoga but resent being compared to a monkey...we have all descended from them. LOL
In Sharanagathi, God holds the devotee like how the lioness holds her cub. Sounds easy and cool??? Wait...the cub needs to have 100% trust in the mother...otherwise the neck can get seriously broken...LOLSensitivity
These days the Varuna Bhagavan seems to be sensitive to my post. I can understand from the Gita that rain comes from a sacrifice made but when I make a jackass post and it starts raining immediately, I wonder if he has to be reported for job appraisal.
If you meet the Buddha, DON't kill the Buddha
http://www.kwanumzen.com/pzc/newsletter/v09n10-1997-oct.html
The problem with those who wrongly interpret Zen is that they they are caught in a stale-mate between the 2 polarities. But there always exists an upward transcendental thrust that has a definite direction when the 2 polarities cancel each other and so oxy-morons like this..."If you meet the Buddha, kill the Buddha. If you meet a Patriarch, kill the Patriarch." don't really make much sense.
At some places, this quote is even attributed to the Buddha! Imagine the Buddha recommending His own assasination...LOL
The Buddha said, "Do not accept anything by mere tradition. Do not accept anything just because it accords with your scriptures. Do not accept anything because it agrees with your opinions or because it is socially acceptable. Do not accept anything because it comes from the mouth of a respected person. Rather, observe closely and if it is to the benefit of all, accept and abide by it."
The above is a plain, harmless, common-sense advice of the Buddha which has been unnecessarily extrapolated.
If you meet the Buddha or for that matter Jesus or Krishna or Moses or Mohammad, don't kill them. Just don't be enamoured by them, thank them for paying a visit, reduce their huge, larger than life size and pocket them in your heart...that way you will get their strength and one-day become one of them. These people answered nature's calls in their times but they also went ahead to answer God's calls.
The problem with those who wrongly interpret Zen is that they they are caught in a stale-mate between the 2 polarities. But there always exists an upward transcendental thrust that has a definite direction when the 2 polarities cancel each other and so oxy-morons like this..."If you meet the Buddha, kill the Buddha. If you meet a Patriarch, kill the Patriarch." don't really make much sense.
At some places, this quote is even attributed to the Buddha! Imagine the Buddha recommending His own assasination...LOL
The Buddha said, "Do not accept anything by mere tradition. Do not accept anything just because it accords with your scriptures. Do not accept anything because it agrees with your opinions or because it is socially acceptable. Do not accept anything because it comes from the mouth of a respected person. Rather, observe closely and if it is to the benefit of all, accept and abide by it."
The above is a plain, harmless, common-sense advice of the Buddha which has been unnecessarily extrapolated.
If you meet the Buddha or for that matter Jesus or Krishna or Moses or Mohammad, don't kill them. Just don't be enamoured by them, thank them for paying a visit, reduce their huge, larger than life size and pocket them in your heart...that way you will get their strength and one-day become one of them. These people answered nature's calls in their times but they also went ahead to answer God's calls.
Shimmers from the Shoal
[Conclusion of http://www.apollo-gaia.org/PlanetEarth/index.htm]
Planet Earth, We Have A Problem
http://www.apollo-gaia.org/PlanetEarth/index.htm
Beyond the Tipping Point: Feedback Dynamics
David Wasdell delivered this copiously illustrated presentation on the 29th June 2008 to the Strategy-Planning workshop of the Tällberg Forum in the heart of Sweden. It was subsequently recorded in studio conditions and beautifully produced by the staff team of the Tällberg Foundation who also added an introduction by their Chairman, Bo Ekman.
After a basic introduction to climate dynamics, the powerful feedback system, already accelerating climate change, is analysed. It is argued that we have already passed the tipping point that marks the onset of runaway climate change, and are fast approaching the critical threshold beyond which the behaviour becomes unstoppable. The presentation concludes with an outline of the global strategy now urgently required to re-stabilise the life-support system of Planet Earth.
New scientific research, published since the video was completed, calls for a doubling of the figure used in the presentation for the strength of the water-vapour feedback. This adds 50% to the calculated power of current global heating and reinforces the conclusion that runaway climate change has already been initiated. The urgency of the imperative response to the global emergency cannot now be overstated. If you have problems viewing this web-video, please e-mail info@meridian.org.uk and request a DVD, cost would be no more than GBP5.00 to include postage, depending on where you live. Please also state whether you can play PAL DVDs or not.
Beyond the Tipping Point: Feedback Dynamics
and the onset of Runaway Climate Change
After a basic introduction to climate dynamics, the powerful feedback system, already accelerating climate change, is analysed. It is argued that we have already passed the tipping point that marks the onset of runaway climate change, and are fast approaching the critical threshold beyond which the behaviour becomes unstoppable. The presentation concludes with an outline of the global strategy now urgently required to re-stabilise the life-support system of Planet Earth.
New scientific research, published since the video was completed, calls for a doubling of the figure used in the presentation for the strength of the water-vapour feedback. This adds 50% to the calculated power of current global heating and reinforces the conclusion that runaway climate change has already been initiated. The urgency of the imperative response to the global emergency cannot now be overstated. If you have problems viewing this web-video, please e-mail info@meridian.org.uk and request a DVD, cost would be no more than GBP5.00 to include postage, depending on where you live. Please also state whether you can play PAL DVDs or not.
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